Episode 10.07 “Ambush” Airdate 11.5.10
Number of Drinking Game rules: 40
One of the best episodes this season! “Ambush” has so much going on, with the Lane family tension, the Vigilante Registration Act, the poor Talon, Clark’s conflict with the General, Rick Flag and the Suicide Squad and that *question* Clark asks at the end…lots of juicy goodness! Let’s get to it!
Suicide Squad mobile headquarters. Rick Flag (played by Ted Whittall) is tracking someone on several high-tech monitors with another dude. Other Dude is played by Elias Toufexis and is apparently named Emil LaSalle/Warp? Maybe? Toufexis also played Bronson in the S6 ep “Static” and Luke in the S3 ep “Asylum“—also he was Anson Weems in one of my favorite Supernatural eps, “Simon Said.” So! There you have it. Oh, anyway, LaSalle tells Flag that the target is headed towards the Kent farm.
Kent Farm of Sexytimes. Lois and Clark head downstairs in a decidedly post-coital manner, making with the bedroom eyes for about 45 minutes. Lois looks quite comfortable in Clark’s Smallville High jersey. Clark asks Lois whether she’s in the mood for breakfast, and Lois saucily tells him she’s in the mood for something else. She starts to head through the living room as Squeaky Clean Clark reminds her, “Uh, Lois, the bedroom’s upstairs.” Lois smilingly tells him that the porch swing is outside, and I can tell right now that she is going to be so good for this boy scout! He whooshes over to her and they become ensconsed in a make-out sesh that is damn near too hot for TV, and as Lois dispenses with Clark’s shirt (drink twice!), and they open the front door, they’re met with the unwelcome site of General Sam Lane (the awesome Michael Ironside) and Lois’s sister Lucy (smoking hot Peyton List). I mean, unwelcome by Lois and Clark. Totally welcome by me! Credits.
Kent farm. Clark tries to calm down Lois who is silently wigging about the uenxpected visit. Clark tells her it’s a good thing that her family wants to spend time with her, which is crazytalk. He tells her everything will be fine, and she replies in a panicky tone, “Fine won’t pass inspection. You have to be perfect.” She tells Clark how important it is to her that her dad like him, and as a daughter of not one but TWO dads, I can relate. The General enters and it’s instantly clear that although he seemed to like Clark in S4, he’s not pleased at the idea of Clark schtupping his daughter. The General gives Clark a hard time about living on his mommy’s farm and working in a basement; Clark holds his own with a pleasant smile on that handsome mug. The General gives him a ridiculously long list of chores to do to get the farm “up to code,” including cleaning the bathroom tile with a toothbrush and recaulking the shower. Clark is still all smiles until the General mentions that Martha is his opposition in the Senate; the General is the senior military advisor on the Vigilante Registration Act. Even though this bill is sorta out of nowhere, it makes for great and believable conflict on the show, so let’s go with it. The General decries vigilantes (such as the one who blew up the RAO solar tower uhm OOPS) as terrorists, and Clark sticks up for them to the General’s intense disapproval. Clark, blowing up that tower totally WAS a terrorist act, dude, even though you kinda had to. Still, civilians! Clark turns to poor Lois for support, as she frantically tries to change the subject. She sends Clark out for veggies to go with the starches, and Clark is displeased that she wasn’t in his corner.
Watchtower (holla!). Oliver storms in looking for the first aid kit, all pissy that it’s not where he left it. Tess calmly tells him to remove his shirt because she loves us and wants to make us happy. She administers first aid as Oliver grumbles about the axe-wielding psycho that bruised up his pretty back, and Tess tries to lighten the mood with a few jokes. Oliver’s not having it: “I can do this whole 9 to 5 thing with you, all right, but I draw the line at happy hour.” Tess gets suspicious about the axe-wielding psycho and scans Oliver’s torso, that lucky bitch, to discover the subdermal tattoo left by the Suicide Squad back in “Shield.” Phew! I was wondering when they were going to find that! Tess says she’s seen that target before when she worked for Checkmate and brings up a headshot of the supposedly deceased Rick Flag. Oliver recognizes him as the bully that kidnapped him and beat him up when he was all nakie in “Lazarus.” Tess is shocked to discover that Flag is still alive, and Oliver worries that he’s not the only one who’s been targeted. (Aside: it’s interesting that, according to Oliver, Tess has “moved in” to Watchtower, after her reaction when Clark and Oliver welcomed her to the team in “Isis.” I guess after realizing last week that A(LEX!)ander the clone is a total psycho, she’d rather not hang around at home anymore).
Kent Farm. Lois is trying to avoid having a meltdown as she cooks while the General watches TV. They overhear a news report announcing a giant tank fire just as Clark enters with the groceries. Lois gives him the intel and he whooshes away when the General’s back is turned. The General grumbles that Clark left Lois holding the bag as the news report announces that The Blur stopped the fire. Clark whooshes back with a bit of ash on his cheek and Lois tries to cover for him. Clark gets a call from Oliver and excuses himself. The General is not happy with all of Clark’s spazzy comins and goins, and he makes a surrepetitious phone call asking someone to look into his undeniably shady past.
Kent barn. Oliver scans Clark’s torso, the lucky bastard, and finds a similar Suicide Squad target under his skin. Clark hears someone coming up the stairs and urges Oliver to split, gesturing to the window (barn hole?). Oliver’s all, “Out the window? What, are we 16?” Clark keeps pushing, so Oliver rolls his eyes and executes a perfect flip out the window, onto his feet on the ground outside. hehe, so cute! It’s Lucy on the stairs, coming to flirt shamelessly with Clark and snoop around. Seems like Lucy’s still carrying a torch for Clark from S4; or, she’s just a magnificently shitty sister who tries to make out with all of Lois’s boyfriends. I’m gonna go with a little of both. So she lays one on an unexpecting Clark just as Lois enters. Lois’s dry delivery of “Really?!” is so very, very awesome. Lois takes her outside and tells Lucy that her highly transparent plan to cause mischief, mayhem and dramz isn’t going to work this time. Lois tells Lucy to make herself useful and go get some ice. Lucy pouts.
Lois re-enters the barn to find Clark punching some firewood to shit, grumbling about the General’s list of chores. Lo: “Careful Dad doesn’t see you making with the kung-fu there, Paul Bunyan.” Hee! Paul Bunyan. Clark apologizes for the Lucy-kiss, and Lois tells him it’s not his fault. Then, thinking better of it, she points out that Clark has SUPER-SPEED and should be able to avoid his girlfriend’s sister’s lips when the time comes. The lady has a point. Clark shrugs it off as being caught off-guard and then totally deflects this shit by accusing Lois of not standing up to her father earlier. Poor Lo is just trying to get through this stupid holiday (oh yeah, it’s apparently Thanksgiving now) and Clark says he thought she had no problem speaking her mind. Lois gives him a VERY LOW BLOW in saying that Clark doesn’t even have a family, so what the crap does he know? I might have paraphrased that some. I know that was kind of a shitty point to make, but she’s right. Clark’s lived alone on the farm for the past four years doing as he pleases; he hasn’t had to deal with seemingly insurmountable family politics in quite some time. Lois tells him that in order to be with her, he has to deal with her crazy family, and them’s just trufax.
Gas station. Lucy’s procuring some ice when she’s approached by Rick Flag in military drag. Lucy doesn’t ask for any real proof of his identity or credentials as he tells her he’s concerned about her father making enemies due to the Vigilante Registration Act, and says that the goverment is watching Clark Kent very closely. He gives her a pen with a blinking red light to sneak into her dad’s belongings so they can make sure he’s safe, AND SHE BELIEVES THIS. He also gives her a folder to say that she found in Clark’s belongings, and he tells her not to tell her dad that they met, and she goes along with all of it BECAUSE SHE IS A MORON. Lucy agrees and looks proud of herself for protecting her father; Marla warps time and space in order to reach through her television and punch Lucy in the face.
Watchtower. Tess is doing some research to track down Rick Flag, and Oliver groans, “Come on! Chloe would have this finished like yesterday!” Although I always appreciate your acknowledgement of Chloe’s superior skills, that was kinda uncool, dude. Tess tells him the same, saying she’s trying to help, and Oliver admits that after all the time he spent at Watchtower with Chloe, it’s really hard for him to see someone else in her position. Aww! Squee! He loves her so much!! Tess softens and tells him she’s not trying to take Chloe’s place (pshaw! As if you could! Although I do love you), but at some point Oliver’s going to have to start treating her like they’re on the same side. Oliver looks a bit chagrined.
Kent barn. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Clark proudly tells the General he’s completed all of the items on the stupid list, and the General sits Clark down and shines a bright light in his face, wondering why Lois is so interested in being with a reporter. Uhm, because she’s a reporter? He says he had the Pentagon look into Clark’s background and it was so spotless that Martha must have had it wiped. Go Senator Kent! The General shows pictures that Lucy “found” in the barn (clearly the folder given to her by Rick Flag) of Clark conversing with known superhero Kara in “Supergirl” and accuses Clark of being in league with the vigilantes. Well…he’s not wrong. Clark is incensed that the General dug into his family’s past: “You want to protect the United States, but as soon as you feel threatened, everyone else’s rights go out the window?” I LOVE HOW LIBERAL THIS SHOW IS. It’s like now that we’re in the final season, the writers have no fear of alienating fans or sponsors, so they’re just letting their ACLU flag fly! Clark is rational, fair and resolute here, and I love him for it. He stands up for himself and for his love for Lois. “You’re wrong to think we don’t belong together. I love your daughter and I don’t want a day to go by where I’m not with her.” Aww, shucks! The General’s not as prone to squeeing as I am; he tells Clark this is his last day with Lois and stalks out.
Kent kitchen. Clark enters and Lois tells him furiously that she’s managed to cover his secret, help him put out the tank fire, and even cook a decent meal for the first time in her life, and all Clark had to do is get along with his father for ONE day. Rather than respond to her somewhat unfair accusation, Clark gets to the point admirably: Lucy planted pictures of him and Kara in the barn and the General had the Pentagon pry into his past. Lucy and the General walk downstairs and say they’re taking Lois to the Talon apartment without Clark. Lucy surreptitiously drops the pen Flag gave her into the General’s pocket. The General pisses me off by barking at Lois, “That’s an order, young lady.” Clark looks beseechingly at Lois, who apologizes earnestly and leaves with a smug General and Lucy. Assholes!
Suicide Squad mobile headquarters. Flag and LaSalle prepare to shoot a fucking MISSILE at General Lane, using the pen Flag gave Lucy as a tracking device. Well done, Lucy, you gigantic dumbass.
Beautiful Talon apartment, for the very last time. *SNIFF* Lois defends Clark to the General, and Lucy tells her to stop with the damage control. Lois barks, “Back off, Lucy, or do you happen to have some compromising photos of ME that you’d like to share with the class?” OH SNAP! The General continues trying to convince Lois that Clark is bad news, and Lois cuts him off. “Everything you need to know about Clark is standing right in front of you! I appreciate that you like straight talk, so I will give it to you in one razor sharp line. I am staying with Clark and if you love me, you will respect that.” Erica Durance DESTROYS this scene; I can’t believe what a good actress she is. She appears truly devastated at being forced to stand up to her daddy, her hero, but she won’t back down. The General looks shocked and Lucy ushers him out of there before he has a chance to consider what Lois said.
Suicide Squad mobile headquarters. Rick Flag mutters in delight, “The rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air gave proof to the night, that our flag was still there.” GETTIT? FLAG?
Watchtower (holla!). Clark is looking OUTRAGEOUSLY GORGEOUS in his new jacket with his new aerodynamic hair. Tess tells Clark and Oliver that Flag considers all vigilantes to be freedom fighters and he would do anything to recruit or protect them, rather than hurt them. He, Tess and Oliver realize that Flag is after General Lane due to the Vigilante Registration Act; Clark whooshes out of there.
Dude. DUDE! The missile soars through the Talon window and an unbelievably cool slow-mo sequence entails as Lois almost hits the floor before Clark whooshes her out of there. From the alley outside the Talon, the General and Lucy react to the blast from the apartment windows as the General shouts in terror and agony, “LOIS!” All of a sudden Lois is standing right behind him looking shocked, and The Blur’s symbol is burned on the outside wall. So, so, so bad-ass, Clark. Point to you. The General murmurs in disbelief, “The Blur saved you.” I, for one, can’t believe the Talon is gone! After all of Lana‘s hard work!
Suicide Squad mobile headquarters. Flag and LaSalle notice an arrow shooting through the back door, as the truck is suddenly flipped several times. Oliver and Clark enter in full costume, looking AMAZING. God, I love it when these sexy boys team up! They tell Flag that the gig is up; they know he ‘sploded the Talon. Flag says the goverment will use the Vigilante Registration Act to turn superheroes into weapons, and as X-Men taught us, he’s not wrong. Flag says vigilantes have to fight back and force the public to accept them as leaders. Clark says he’ll just stir up anti-vigilante hysteria and incite violence; Flag retorts that “violence is the only answer.” Emil LaSalle/Warp uses his warpy abilities to warp him and Flag outta there before Clark and Ollie can detain them.
Kent farm. Lois sets the table as Lucy apologizes for being such a pointless skank. Lois doesn’t give in that easily, telling her that she almost got Lois and the General killed, not to mention almost getting Clark arrested and making the Talon go kaboom. Lucy says she’ll replace all of Lois’s belongings, as if that’s the biggest issue here. Lois at first says that she and Clark will never be able to trust Lucy again, but eventually comes around, telling her that she understands the desire to protect their dad. Of course, Lucy totally did the OPPOSITE of that, but I guess her (stupid) intentions were (stupidly) good. Lois says that she and Lucy have both been fighting so long to be considered the perfect daughter that they’ve forgotten how to be sisters. Lucy, earnestly: “No, Lois. You’re a great sister.” Aww, shucks. Okay, I forgive you, Lucy. More importantly, so does Lois, and the sisters tearfully hug. Sweetness!
Watchtower (holla!). Sweet reconciliations all over this episode! Oliver comes in with beer and take-out, and Tess observes that this looks quite a lot like happy hour. She says she’s figured out how to remove the subdermal tattoos and tells him not to worry, “my friend.” Oliver cutely objects to the word “friend” but concedes that he can definitely be friendly. He tells Tess that this is his last time to visit Watchtower; he’s realized that by revealing his identity to the world, he’s put Watchtower and the Justice League’s secrecy at risk. Oh man! So sad. Tess points out that with Watchtower being such an important place to him and Chloe, she knows it’s a big sacrifice, but Ollie says it’s the right thing to do. “Watchtower’s in good hands.” Tess looks sad; so does Marla.
Kent barn. The General apologizes to Clark for being such a dick and says that he admires Clark for standing up to him. “No one’s had the guts to talk to me like that since my wife passed away.” Aww, Teri Hatcher! The General tells Clark that he’s loved serving his country and has even gotten to be a hero a few times, but advises Clark that spending time with loved ones is what’s most important. He says that Lois has a brand new hero and gives Clark very knowing eyebrows; he TOTALLY knows Clark is The Blur. It’s heavily implied here. Clark asks if The Blur’s rescue of Lois has helped him change his mind on the Vigilante Registration Act, and the General concedes, “Gotta admit I kind of like her having her own private guardian angel.” What daddy wouldn’t?! But he adds, “Not every hero has The Blur’s code of honor.” Clark counters, “Not all politicians have yours. Some will use the law to destroy people.” The General replies, “I’m a military man, Clark. I have to believe that when push comes to shove, America will do the right thing.” He pauses, and adds, “Like Lois did by you.” He says that through years of giving Lois’s boyfriends hell, and impossibly long lists of tasks, he was trying to test Lois, not the boyfriends. (I don’t think he ever met Oliver, or surely we would have heard about it.) He said through all the hassling and pain he gave those boys, Lois never said a word. “That’s how I know she didn’t love them.” SOB! This scene killed me. BUT WAIT! Clark smiles and takes a deep breath. “About Lois and I…there’s a question I’ve been wanting to ask you.” END SCENE HOLY CRAP CLARK ASKED FOR LO’S HAND IN MARRIAGE SQUEEEEE!!!
Thanksgiving dinner! When did Lois learn to cook, seriously? There’s lots of slow-mo smiling and pretty lighting and lurve.
Holy shizz, the VRA passed. Rick Flag is PISSED! He calls it a declaration of war and gives orders to Emil LaSalle, who warps into the VRA headquarters. The building SPLODES, and a button of the crossed-out El Shield flies through the air. OH SNAP!
Holy BUCKETS, a lot happened in this episode! Rick Flag is morphing into Magneto, and Clark will be the Professor X in the “war” between vigilantes and civilians!! Oliver and Tess made up! Lois dealt with huge family issues, and Clark is going to propose! The Talon is gone! Porch swing sex! THINGS ARE HAPPENING!
Next week: “Abandoned”! Teri Hatcher as Mama Lane! Lois visits the Fortress of Solitude to mend Clark’s relationship with Jor-El! Granny Goodness rears her silver head and calls Tess family! Looks like we’re finally about to get some Tessplanation. Enjoy the preview here:
Be sure to tune in Friday at 8/7c on The CW, and don’t forget to play the drinking game! Check back next Tuesday for my recap of “Abandoned” here at Watchtower.
Kryptonsite is reporting that the excellent Phil Morris will be returning as John Jones/Martian Manhunter in episode 10.12 “Collateral.” Here’s hoping! I miss that dude.
Watch with Kristen reports the tragic news that Allison Mack won’t return as Chloe Sullivan until 2011. *sob* We miss you, Chlo!