Episode 10.05 “Isis” Airdate 10.22.10
Number of Drinking Game rules: 21
The A plot was decent, but the ep is definitely bumped up with the stuff between Oliver and Tess, Oliver and Clark, and especially Clark and Lois (SQUEE!). “Isis” struck a nice balance between frivolous fun and significant character development, and that’s exactly where the show needs to be at this late point in the game!
Previously, on Smallville: Season 9. This season’s episodes: “Lazarus.” “Shield” (particularly “Shield,” when Lois accidentally knocks Isis’s necklace off Carter Hall‘s table into her purse). “Supergirl.” “Homecoming.”
Metropolis Museum. Oliver’s being wooed by curator Adrianna for some wacky Green Arrow supplementation to the Isis exhibit he’s funding. She expects him to zipline in wearing a harness and a helmet, backed by “the Green Arrow girls.” Tess comes in for this last and is unsurprisingly grossed out. She thinks Oliver’s ploy for positive celebrity is so a “feisty blonde” will come back, but tells Oliver that he is no longer the person Chloe fell in love with. She tells him he’s become a caricature of himself. Oliver retorts that the city has fallen in love with him, and Tess replies, “Groupie love isn’t real love, Oliver. You used to know that.” Oliver is way harsh: “Do you even know what real love looks like anymore?” Dick! Adrianna returns, panicking that someone has stolen the cursed amulet of Isis from the exhibition crates. Whoever possesses it is doomed to spend an eternity in the underworld. Okay!
Talon apartment. Lois is dressed in a ridiculous themed costume, as per yuuzh, looking outrageously gorgeous, as per yuuzh. She’s practicing her speech to Clark, telling him that she knows he’s The Blur, and she’s just generally giddy and adorable. “Hey Clark, you’re Blurrific!” Hell yes! Go with that one; it’s awesome. Tying a trench coat around her barely-there Egyptian dress, she decides she’s going to start with coffee and donuts. I decided the same thing this morning! After one last glance in the mirror, Lois tells herself proudly, “Carpe diem, Lois, you can do this. By tomorrow, you’ll be living in a whole new world.” She grabs her bag and the camera goes all Fight Clubby into the folds of her purse, revealing the half-hidden amulet. CREDITS!
Queen office. Oliver’s hassling someone on the phone about the disappearance of the amulet, when Clark walks in, looking rather handsome. Oliver is also looking rather handsome. Goddamn, this is a fine-looking show! At any rate, Clark tells Oliver he’s decided to tell Lois his secret. Yay! Oliver: “Okay, that’s officially the biggest news I’ve heard all day.” Oliver asks Clark what changed his mind, and Clark tells him that he’s seen the future, and it WAS GLORIOUS. Oliver: “Okay, now that’s officially the biggest news I’ve heard all day. You know you sound crazy when you talk like that, right?” HEEE! I love it when these boys are friendly. They have such great rapport. Oliver can tell that Clark is hoping he’ll talk him out of it, but Oliver thinks this is a great idea. He says that coming out was the best decision he could have made, and that the city has embraced him for it. Oliver shows Clark an array of breakfast baskets, flower arrangements and his very own cereal to prove it. I’m not gonna lie, I would do almost ANYTHING for a basket of mini-muffins. Clark points out that telling the truth to Lois didn’t work so hot for Oliver when they were together: “She dumped you!” Oliver: “Uh, we broke up.” Sure, keep telling yourself that, stud. Oliver points out that he and Lois were never meant to be together. “Look, Clark, she loves you. That makes you a lucky man. Take it from me. Living without love is not really living. It’s existing. The question you have to ask yourself is—what are you willing to risk for love?” IT’S A THEME, YOU GUYS.
Daily Planet. Lois is rearranging her and Clark’s nameplates, all cute and nervous and spazzy to have her big convo with Clark. He walks up and they have a sweet moment over donuts, and everything with them is so insanely adorbs lately! Still, why are they each planning on having this big discussion at work? Unprofesh! Cat Grant walks up and interrupts the smoking hot chemistry. Lois is displeased to see her; Cat is displeased to see that Lois is wearing knee-high gold gladiator sandals and a trench coat; Lois replies that Oliver’s asked her to cover the themed museum gala that evening. Look, I work at a museum (yep!). We don’t DO themed galas. My job would be lots awesomer if we did. Also, Lo, while that’s an appropriate reason for you to be wearing a backless “Egyptian” mini-dress and high-heeled gold gladiator sandals, it is NOT an appropriate reason for you to be wearing those items TO WORK. Change in the bathroom afterwards, lordy! Anyway, Lois and Cat hate each other immediately, no surprise there. Lois snits to Cat in reference to the gala: “Oh, did you not get an invitation? Sucks.” Cat in turn makes the unwise decision to flirt with Clark in front of Lois, telling him coyly that she can’t wait to work with him again. “You’re the Popeye to my Olive, the Mickey to my Minnie…” Lois: “The sick to my stomach.” Hah! Cat wants Clark to work with her on the story of the missing amulet, but Clark blows her off and tells Lois to meet him on the roof in a few minutes. Lois is all: SCORE!
Rooftop. Lois arrives first and nervously applies her lucky lipstick. As she reaches in her purse, she discovers the missing amulet and is chagrined to realize that she’s the one who inadvertently stole it. She lifts it up to the sun to get a better look at it, and FLASH! Lois’s eye make-up has just been turned up to 11! You know what that means, boys and girls? POSSESSION! Clark arrives and jumps right into telling Lois his big news. He says he’s tried to tell her before but then had to go back in time to change things, but that wasn’t Lois’s fault. “You were perfect.” Aww, she really was, wasn’t she? Anyway, Lois/Isis, henceforth known as Losis, tells Clark with her big, scary voice that she will allow him to give her some information if it is of importance to her. Clark doesn’t seem to notice that something’s amiss as he takes a deep breath and reveals, “I’m The Blur.” Losis: “That is of no importance to me.” Sad trombones! Fortunately Losis shoots off into the sky in a blaze before Clark can get his little feelings too hurt. NOW he realizes something’s up.
Watchtower (holla!). Clark and Oliver are trying to find Carter Hall to discover why the hell Lois CAN FLY BY THE WAY, but he’s apparently on sabbatical after the events in “Shield.” If by “sabbatical,” you mean “dying so he can be reunited with his eternal love,” then yes, yes he is. Clark wants to get Tess all up in this action since she’s smarter than these two jocks combined, but Oliver maintains that she can’t be trusted and she can’t replace Chloe at Watchtower. Or in his heart, he does not bother to add, but we totally know he’s thinking it. Oliver had to cancel the gala and says the curator Adrianna (whose name is the real name of Isis in the comics, so I’m not sure if something’s supposed to come of that or not) is livid. Oliver explains the Isis legend to Clark, driving home the point that Isis would literally unleash hell on earth in order to be reunited with her love Osiris.
Museum. Losis whooshes in, breaks a crate and grabs the statue of Osiris containing his heart so she can resurrect him. Cat Grant’s been snooping around and tries to get a pic of Losis’s treachery, but Clark arrives and whooshes Cat outside to a coffee shop before she even knows what’s happening. Excellent use of your superspeed, dude.
Tess’s office at the Daily Planet. Tess talks to a therapist about little A(lex)ander’s creepy-ass tendencies. You know, his tendency to grow into a megalomaniacal super-villain? That one. The doctor tells Tess that A(lex)ander is unstable and needs to be monitored. He leaves and Tess frets rather maternally as Cat enters and sees a picture of A(lex)ander, assuming he’s Tess’s son. She tells him when her own son is sick, he needs chicken noodle soup and Peter Pan, but Tess isn’t interested in Cat’s homespun advice. Cat gets to the point: she knows The Blur’s identity, and this person is working right in Tess’s own bullpen. Tess wigs silently, trying to discover exactly how much Cat knows, when Cat reveals that she thinks Lois is The Blur. Oh, how Tess laughs! She laughs and laughs. She is clearly INCREDIBLY relieved that Cat is so very, very stupid. Cat vows to get proof.
Queen office. Tess recaps this week’s wackiness (hey, that’s my job!), wondering how the shit any of this even happened. Oliver: “Just another Friday night in Metropolis. Who’s ready for the weekend?” God, I love Justin Hartley’s delivery ALWAYS. Clark arrives and Tess and Oliver talk over each other, each trying to share their theory about Osiris’s resurrection with Clark. It’s like Abbott and Costello up in here! Clark waits patiently for ONE of them to spit it out, and Tess tells Clark she thinks she knows a way to turn Losis back into Lois. She gets on Oliver’s laptop to do some research, and he’s all OH HELL TO THE NAH. She knows he doesn’t trust her, but says very plainly and scornfully that their dumb asses need help, and she’s the smart cookie to give it to them. She also maintains that she’s destroyed all of Cat’s evidence about Losis. Clark makes tracks for the museum to keep Losis from resurrecting Osiris.
Museum. Losis smashes some invaluable shit up, finding the crate holding Osiris’s sarcophagus only to discover it empty. Clark whooshes in as Losis breaks down, and can I take a moment to say how much I enjoyed Erica Durance’s performance this week? This is a dumb plot but she plays it AMAZINGLY, with powerful grief and fury as Isis and powerful love and joy as Lois. Anyhoo, Losis plays word games with Clark, maintaining that he must not really love the vessel she’s using (Lois) if he wouldn’t risk unleashing hell on earth the way she’s willing to do for Osiris. blah blah love risk sacrifice blah, it’s all a little tedious. You get the point. Losis decides to sacrifice Clark to Osiris and uses her magical powers to bind him to the sarcophagus. She speaks a lot of gibberish as Cat Grant spies on her with the camera on her phone, muttering, “I will never understand liberals.” Heee! I know Cat is inexcusably irritating, but Keri Lynn Pratt’s performance makes me giggle every time. Losis holds Osiris’s petrified heart over Clark, revives it so it begins beating again, and prepares to kill Clark with her dagger. This may well have worked because as we learned in the hilariously stupid episode “Spell,” magic can hurt Clark.
Anyway, Oliver arrives in the nick of time and tells Clark that Tess learned that the heat of the sun through the gem of the amulet will release Lois from Isis’s power. Clark escapes from the binds and he and Ollie employ some TEAMWORK! as Oliver uses his arrow to shoot the amulet off of Losis, Clark speedily catches it and eye-burns it, then whooshes over to catch Lois—no longer Losis—as she falls. Lois awakes and wonders why they’re taking a behind-the-scenes tour of the museum. “I love you, Clark, but sometimes you are such a nerd.” TRUE.
Watchtower (holla!). Tess arrives and finds Oliver brooding by the window. He tells her that she was right; he had become a caricature of himself. He was trying to fill the emptiness inside him, and he says that Tess is one of the few people who would have called him out on it. Tess points out that Chloe would, too (obviously!), and Oliver breaks my heart: “God, I miss her. I miss her laugh, and her strength, and the way her eyes lit up when I entered the room. She really loved me.” We all miss her, Ollie. I said it last week, but it means so much to me that the show has continued Chloe’s legacy in such a significant way for this final season, despite Allison Mack’s continued absence. I feel Chloe’s presence in every single episode, and that’s a meaningful achievement. Tess’s heart is broken, too, for other reasons, and Oliver apologizes for saying she couldn’t recognize true love. Tess tells him it was the truth, that she hasn’t had much love in her life. Sad face! Clark enters and he and Oliver proudly tell Tess they couldn’t have rescued Lois without her help. They offer her the use of Watchtower and welcome her to the team, and Tess is overcome by their trust and faith in her. She runs from the room in tears, and Oliver asks Clark, “Do you really think we can trust her?” Clark muses, “We’ll find out.” He probably kind of doubts it all of a sudden, based on her reaction. Cassidy Freeman is a truly talented actress, by the way. Tess leans against the wall, weeping and trying to catch her breath, obviously struggling with the secret of A(lex)ander. And let’s not forget whatever the hell was up with Granny Goodness in last season’s finale! Tess has definitely got some complications to reveal before the season’s up.
Luthor mansion. Tess runs into the doctor and tells him she’s changed her mind about allowing him to monitor A(lex)ander. She said he just needs to be loved, and the doctor tells her she’s risking her safety by allowing this adorable little psycho to live with her. A(lex)ander’s rocking some absolutely precious jim-jams, making him appear slightly less creepy than usual. He points to his measurements drawn on the wall and proudly tells Tess that he’s grown. Uhm, a lot. FAST. Fast enough to turn into Michael Rosenbaum by the end of the series? From my lips to God’s ears, right? Tess scoops him up and begins to read Peter Pan to him, telling him that it’s a story about the adventures of growing up. A(lex)ander tells Tess earnestly that he loves her, and she tears up as she begins to read him the story.
Daily Planet. Cat runs up to Lois and stabs her in the hand with a pen, trying to prove that Lois is impervious. Lois hauls off, ready to punch the shit out of Cat (that’s my girl!), when Clark intercepts the punch smoothly. “Ladies, who’d like to go first?” Heee! He’s so cute. Lois and Cat start babbling simultaneously, and Cat reveals that she has photographic evidence that Lois is The Blur and tried to perform “a satanic s-e-x ritual.” Lois is incensed: “I may be no angel, hon, but I’m definitely not into the devil.” Clark whooshes away and back so fast that neither Cat nor Lois notices, but when Cat reaches for her phone to show the evidence, it falls apart in her hand. Hah! Cat whines that those were her only copies and Lois smirks that she made a rookie mistake. I LOVE THIS SCENE! Clark explains that Lois isn’t The Blur; rather, that she was possessed by the spirit of Isis. Cat is disbelieving and Lois snarks, “This is Metropolis. Weird things happen all the time. Get used to it!” Word.
BIG DEAL SCENE! In the archives room, Clark bandages Lois’s hand and Lois laughs that Cat thought she was The Blur. She prepares to tell Clark that she knows he is, instead, but Clark tells her she doesn’t know The Blur and that he probably has a good reason not to tell her who he is. Lois is devastated, and frankly, so was I. I WAS SO PISSED when I thought this show was going to cop out AGAIN on Clark’s secret. We saw this a hundred times with Lana; Clark would prepare to tell her the truth, some stupid Freak of the Week or random catastrophe would intervene and Clark would decide it was too dangerous. It’s too late in the show for that shit! BUT WAIT… Lois is tearful: “He’s never going to tell me, is he?” Clark: “Not if it means putting your life at risk.” Lois: “I wish he knew I was willing to take that risk.” She prepares to leave the room, and all of a sudden Clark MANS UP: “All my life I’ve been afraid, Lois. Afraid of people knowing the truth about me. Afraid of them rejecting me, and even if they didn’t, still losing them. I’ve been afraid of everything I can’t control. But when I was faced with the idea of losing you forever…” Lois turns around, light shining in her eyes, “…it made me realize there’s something I’d regret more than anything else—and that’s not telling you the truth about me. Cause that’s the only way we could share a life together. I know the odds are stacked against us and we’d be risking everything, but if you’re ready to take that leap, there’s no one else that I’d want to take that leap with. Lois, you’ve had a lot of questions about The Blur. It’s me. I’m The Blur.” Lois leaps across the room, into Clark’s arms, and they crash into a stack of files as tiny bits of paper flutter down around them. They kiss passionately and I cry, oh boy, do I cry. Lois: “What took you so long?” Clark is speechless that Lois already knew the truth, and they smile at each other beautifully. END CREDITS.
So there you have it! Another silly possession episode that was actually so much more. Oliver’s monologue about Chloe, Tess’s finally being accepted into the Justice League only to fear that she’ll betray them, Clark and Oliver working together like true super friends, Tess and Oliver healing their past, Tess becoming a mother to A(lex)ander and finally Clark revealing his secret to Lois! Every episode will have some significant revelations from now until the end, I suppose, and I can’t wait!
Next time, on Smallville: “Harvest”! Scarecrow?! Little A(lex)ander is getting creepier—AND less little! Spooky Halloween episode! Check out the preview here. Check back here on Friday for a newsy preview post, and tune in next Tuesday for the recap of “Harvest”!