Correction to last week’s recap: I referred to the skull and crossbones logo as Deadshot‘s symbol, but that’s only because I’m dumb. It’s totally the logo for the Suicide Squad. Pay no attention to the crazy lady behind the curtain!
Episode 10.03 “Supergirl” Airdate 10.8.10
Number of Drinking Game rules: 14. Not even a full beer!
A pretty good ep with some serious developments when it comes to Darkseid, Oliver, Clois, and Clark’s journey. It certainly had some of that early-Smallville trashiness (fetish Lois, what the what?), but I still dug it. And I have to say, Laura Vandervoort (Kara Kent) has significantly improved. She looks great and didn’t annoy me once, versus the EVERY EPISODE in which she annoyed me during Season 7!
“Three Weeks Ago.” Darkseid forms into a swirly, raven-y mass out of the consul at the crow’s nest. In a radio studio, Cat Grant‘s favorite shock jock Gordon Godfrey (played beautifully by voice pro Michael Daingerfield) talks a bunch of smack about “illegal aliens” because he is into all kinds of pissing me off. Darkseid swoops into the window and jumps into his eyeballs. POSSESSED! That should totally be a drinking game rule on this show.
“Today.” Godfrey gives a press conference promoting his new book, which has a crossed out El shield on the cover. He rails against vigilantes and just generally blathers about. Clark stands in the press section looking moody; everyone else seems highly approving of the message. Lois appears and gives him the eyes; Clark is overjoyed to see her. They share a passionate hug that quickly turns awkward. Clark is surprised that Lois is back from Africa so quickly and that she left so quickly in the first place: “I figured something must have happened.” Lois retorts, “You mean something like ‘Go to Africa, Lois’?” Burn! Clark maintains that he never wanted her to leave, and they smilingly agree that they’re still partners. These two are melting my screen with their boiling hot chemistry! Lois tells Clark that Cat Grant is on assignment in Alaska, so she has her desk back. Godfrey continues to babble, finally getting Lois where it hurts by saying that The Blur is deformed, and she’s all OH NO HE DIN’T! “Break out the marshmallows, Clark; I’m gonna roast this turkey.” Have I mentioned lately that I love her? But before Lois gets to roasting, Godfrey unveils his anti-hero billboard, which breaks and almost falls onto the crowd. As Clark whooshes forward to save the day, he’s pre-empted by a costumed Kara Kent, who holds the billboard in one hand as she floats casually above the crowd like it ain’t no thing. She winks saucily at Clark and Lois, as Lois mutters, “Isn’t that your cousin, Clark?” CREDITS.
Daily Planet. Lois scoffs at a “Maiden of Might” headline regarding Kara’s save. She throws Clark a bone, “assuming” that he never knew about Kara’s powers and that she must have gained them through meteor rock (Kryptonite) exposure. Clark’s all: “Uhm, YES. With the meteors and the whatnot. That’s it!” Lois disapproves of Kara’s decision to come out as a superhero, although Clark suggests that The Blur should do just that, as Kara won over the crowd by stepping into the light. Lois thinks this is a terrible idea because the public has turned against superheroes, calling them “mutant vigilantes.” She also calls Kara “Ubergirl” which is uberclever. She tells Clark that Kara is risking her own safety as well as that of anyone close to her.
Random rooftop. Kara poses for a cheesy photographer in various heroic stances. Girlfriend has abs like woah, as an aside. Kara pauses the shoot when Clark arrives, and they hug sweetly, but quickly turn to arguing as those Els are wont to do. Kara tells Clark she never found her mother and so Clark is her only family; Clark then wants to know why the hell she’s showing her face up and down the block, putting his identity at risk. Kara reluctantly explains that Jor-El has sent her on a mission, and building a positive public image is part of it. She says she’s doing it for Clark, which, hah. She is trying to draw attention to herself so Darkseid goes after her instead of The Blur. Jor-El doesn’t think Clark is strong enough to fight Darkseid (who, by the way, is never called by name in this episode. Clark and Kara only refer to him as “the darkness” or “the dark force,” but Darkseid is way catchier, so that’s what I’m going with). Kara tells Clark that Jor-El thinks Darkseid will use him as a tool to destroy the planet. She basically tells him, Oh and just FYI, Jor-El’s disowned you as his son, la di dah. WORST. FATHER. EVER.
Pretty church. Godfrey gets up with the praying, because that’s what good, God-fearing, American patriots do. Lois totally ambushes him for a quote in the middle of his worship time, which even I know is uncool. She tells him she’s done allowing him to attack the heroes of Metropolis, and he tells her he’s investigating Kara and all the other masked vigilantes. Lois reminds him that she happens to be fairly adept at investigating herself, and threatens to dig into his own past. Godfrey maintains that he has nothing to hide (famous last words, dude!), but that a certain hard-partying, archery-obsessed, billionaire superhero/ex-boyfriend of hers might.
Queen loft. HOLY GOD OLIVER IS SHIRTLESS AND I CAN’T FIND A PICTURE OF IT ANYWHERE. Homeboy has got one flawless physique. And those Jesus/Tyler Durden muscles? I LOVE THOSE. Ah-hem. Anyhoo. Oliver’s practicing martial arts, reminiscing about Chloe and making me swoon. He remembers their first kiss, after he gave her an archery lesson in ep 9.13 “Warrior.” LE SIGH. Lois enters and manages to not completely pass out at seeing her gorgeous ex-boyfriend so scantily clad and glistening. I guess when your new boyfriend is a Superman who looks like Tom Welling, things fall into perspective. Oliver calls Lois “Little Miss Cut and Run” (heh) and schools her for running out on Clark when things got difficult. Lois defends herself somewhat and then changes the subject, warning Oliver about Godfrey’s threat. Oliver’s surprisingly unperturbed, saying that people deserve to know the truth and he’s tired of keeping this secret. Lois tells Oliver that she’ll go after Godfrey if he won’t.
Limo. Godfrey is joined by his plucky publicist (played by Devon Weigel), who asks about the secret final chapter of his book (revealing Oliver’s identity). He tells her that not even she can read it and that he’s keeping the only copy on a flash drive in his pocket so as to avoid leaks. Plucky Publicist is thrilled that Godfrey’s popularity is soaring, and Godfrey’s voice goes all Darkseidy as he tells her she needs to help him do more, as he wants to reach every person on the planet so as to eventually rule them all. “Humans are the best architects of their own undoing. All you have to do is give them enough rope and they’ll eventually hang themselves.” Plucky Publicist is nonplussed, but thinks Godfrey just needs a night off. Sure, sister. She exits the limo and Godfrey looks at a brochure for a fetish club and tells the limo driver, “Take me to Club Desaad.” (Desaad is one of Darkseid’s minions from Apokolips in the comics.) The limo driver looks around (for some reason, since she’s allegedly NOT trying to show her face to Godfrey), and my stars! It’s Lois Lane in a jaunty little driver’s cap!
Kent barn. Clark reaches for the key (Yay! I have one of those!) so he can transport himself to the Fortress of Solitude and pout at Jor-El some more, but Kara’s already yoinked it. Clark tells Kara that he’s pissed that Jor-El doesn’t trust him, and Kara explains that Darkseid is a powerful force that Clark can’t even begin to understand. He can exploit the weakness in any person and she and Jor-El are understandably concerned that he’ll exploit that weakness that’s all up in Clark’s situation. Clark says he can handle anything, and Kara’s all: Big talk from the boy who can’t fly! Clark acknowledges that this is a fair point, and asks Kara to help him learn to fly. Again. Some more.
Chandler’s Field! YAY! Clark and Kara are atop Lana’s favorite windmill, and Clark whines that flying must be so easy for Kara. Kara tells him, “It’s not easy or hard. It just is.” This scene is simply breathtaking, bee-tee-dubs. Kara tells Clark to drown out all noise and focus solely on the sound of a nearby butterfly’s wings beating, then take to the sky. Clark manages to do just that, soaring grandly until all of a sudden…he’s not anymore. CRASH, right through the poor, frequently besieged Kent barn’s roof. Kara whooshes in after him and tells him that she made a mistake; she should have listened to Jor-El instead of trying to help Clark, because he doubts his powers and can’t focus and will never be able to fight Darkseid that way. She tells him that Darkseid came through a rip in the universe three weeks ago, and Clark’s all: hey! I made a rip in the universe exactly three weeks ago!
Crow’s nest. Clark shows Kara the consul and explains about the Book of Rao and the portal he opened in the S9 finale to send the Kandorians to someplace that is else. Kara muses that she probably can use her El bracelet to open a similar portal to send Darkseid to some other place that is else. She tells Clark that Darkseid can find the tiniest seed of doubt in the strongest person and use it to rule that person. Darkseid can’t possess someone who is pure of spirit and intent, however. So, in other words, not Clark. She reminds Clark, “If this darkness possesses someone with abilities [drink!] like yours, you could be the greatest weapon this planet has ever seen.” Clark just shrugs like it’s no big d. Moron. Sorry, I love the guy, BUT SERIOUSLY.
Wow. This next scene just killed me, you guys. Oliver is in a church, speaking to a picture of his parents. Justin Hartley is so emotional and moving here. He tells his parents that he’s been trying to live his life in a way that would make them proud, but he worries he’s let them down. “The woman that I love, she sacrificed everything to protect me. And I’m sort of trying to figure out how to live with that. I can’t have others risking their lives to protect my secret. This has to stop. I’m sorry.” SOB! ACTING!
Oh jeezy chreezy. Get ready to cringe your face off! And yet, I’m not gonna lie, this scene’s pretty funny. Lois follows Godfrey into Club Desaad and “disguises” herself by changing into typical dominatrix wear. Lois has worn more leather on this show than Clark has worn plaid. Godfrey is too horny to notice that SHE’S TOTALLY LOIS LANE, and he allows her to separate him from the crowd as Lois makes some embarrassingly inept bondage attempts. Godfrey doesn’t seem to notice that she’s terrible at this: “What’s your favorite tool?” “I’m pretty good with a torque wrench.” Hilarity! She calls over a couple of real dominatrices and surreptitiously takes photos while they writhe all over him. She dismisses the ladies and purrs “Gotcha” at Godfrey, removing her mask. He’s all: my stars! It’s Lois Lane! and calls her a “formidable woman,” which, word. He offers to give her the Oliver headline in exchange for the photos, but she’s already sent them off into the world via her phone. Godfrey’s voice goes all Darkseidy again: “I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE PHOTOS, LOIS.” He breaks his cuffs and easily dispatches of Lois despite her handy taser. He says he can tell she’s pure of spirit (that’s my girl!), which is too bad because “taking over that body would’ve been fun.” He still knocks her unconscious, though, as his eyes turn black.
Watchtower (holla!). Kara’s impressed by the Justice League headquarters and the fact that there IS a Justice League. She says that a lot has changed in the last couple of years (it really has!) and that Jor-El may have underestimated Clark. Hell yeah he did! Sort of. Clark uses the Watchtower network to somehow instantaneously discover that Gordon Godfrey is possessed by Darkseid, and then instantaneously discover that Godfrey and Lois are at Club Desaad. That seriously took 15 seconds. Solid sleuthing, Kent!
Club Desaad. Oh yikes. This is pretty disturbing. Godfrey/Darkseid, henceforth known as Godseid, has Lois tied up, gagged and hanging from red scarves in some bondage lair deep within the club. He talks a bunch of scary shit as she whimpers.
Kara and Clark whoosh into the club and look around. Kara asks, “What is this place?” and Clark uncomfortably mutters, “It’s kind of hard to explain.” Hah! They split up to find Lois. Clark finds her and Godseid first, and he VERY UNWISELY engages Godseid in a battle EVEN THOUGH HE TOTALLY KNOWS THAT DARKSEID COULD OVERPOWER HIM AND USE HIM AS A TOOL TO DESTROY THE ENTIRE PLANET. I want to be very, very clear here. Clark fucked up HARD this week. Godseid tells Clark that Lois has served her purpose: “She brought one of you to me.” Clark talks big, and Godseid retorts, “Are you sure you can win against me? You know what I am. You know the doubt in your heart. You so-called heroes are false gods, all of you. And when people stop believing in you, you’ll shatter like glass.” He sniffs out Clark’s weakness immediately, just as Kara said he would: “Under all that bravado, you’re afraid you’ll never be the hero you want to be.” He knows that Clark wants to kill Godseid and that he has wanted to kill before. “There is darkness in you, and great power. I think we’ll go far together, you and I.” He turns all smoky/raven-y again and begins to enter Clark (dirty!), when Kara whooshes in, not a moment too soon, and uses her bracelet to repel Darkseid. Clark whooshes to untie Lois and gently set her on the ground, whooshing away before she sees him. Kara remains behind to help Lois up. Poor Lois is traumatized: “I think it’s time to blow this bondage ball.”
Outside Club Desaad. Lois marvels that “Mr. Family Values had such a dark side.” No, DarkSEID. Kara says that everyone has two sides, including superheroes. Lois asks Kara, off the record, what it’s like having powers. Kara tells her she feels incredibly free. Lois broods that superheroes must feel that normal people are less than they are: “Maybe it’s easier being a hero when you don’t have someone tying you down.” Kara smiles and tells her that even heroes need someone to come home to; this is the answer Lois was hoping to receive. She smiles hopefully. It’s adorable!
Daily Planet. Lois shows Clark the Inquisitor front page with her photo of Godfrey letting his freak flag fly at Club Desaad. She passed on the story as she didn’t figure S&M was classy enough for the Planet front page. Clark tells Lois she put herself into far too much danger trying to discredit Godfrey, and Lois admits that she was terrified, but says that her “worst fear is to be alone in a world without heroes.” Clark tells her that superheroes aren’t perfect and shouldn’t be put on a pedestal, and Lois admits that she knows heroes are people, too. “They wrestle with their own flaws. But The Blur is different—he’s my hero. Whatever he’s afraid of, I know he’ll always be there for me.” She walks away and Clark looks conflicted and doubtful; the camera pulls back to reveal a painting of Atlas on the wall behind him. Poor Clark. Big dumb alien.
Outside the Planet. Clark runs into Kara who is in full Linda Lee Danvers drag. She tells him she’s decided to disguise herself because she can’t save anyone while being the center of attention. She tells Clark she’s not going anywhere until she’s sure that Earth is safe from Darkseid; her bracelet only repelled him rather than banishing him through a portal. Clark wonders why Darkseid didn’t possess Kara when it was ready to possess him, then has a duh! moment as he realizes it’s because she’s pure of spirit and he’s totally not. He bitches about being a big old failure, and Kara tells him that everyone fails sometimes, but overcoming one’s failures is what matters. Y’know, rather than bitching about it. She reminds Clark that if Darkseid had possessed him, with all of Clark’s powers, the planet as we know it would have been doomed. She tells him, “Leave the darkness to me. This isn’t your fight.” She leaves and a random, handy passerby pops up just to say that people have too much faith in the heroes. Gee thanks, random passerby!
Queen loft. Lois arrives and hands Godfrey’s flash drive to Oliver, bragging that she nicked it out of Godfrey’s pocket. She omits the part where she almost died wearing head-to-toe leather in order to protect Oliver’s identity, so Oliver does not appear duly impressed. She chides him for his nonchalance and he thanks her sincerely, but tells her that he intends to fight his own battles from now on. Lois JUST NOW discovers that HER COUSIN Chloe is missing, because she is the worst cousin ever and also Clark is the worst boyfriend ever. Lois thinks Chloe will be back because she’s crazy about Oliver, and Oliver hopes she’s right. He tells her he’s been keeping his secret for long enough, and he calls in some press people. As they enter, he gives a short speech saying that the press has been unfairly judging the masked heroes. In a total shout-out to Iron Man, the episode ends with Oliver’s solemn proclamation: “I am Green Arrow.” END CREDITS!
Okay, and I just have to add this. The final showdown of Clark vs. Darkseid had better be JUST LIKE THIS. Please to enjoy the bad-assery. It’ll make you feel a lot better about Clark’s humiliation this week.
“What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose.” HELL! YES!
Next week! Smallville‘s TWO HUNDREDTH episode! Clark and Lois go back to The Talon for Smallville High’s 5-year reunion! Lana and Chloe return in flashback form! (Maybe Lex and Pete, too? And surely Jonathan and Martha!) Brainiac 5.0 (James Marsters, WHEE!) shows Clark his past and his future! MARLA UTTERLY GEEKS OUT! You don’t want to miss it! So check back here on Friday for my scoopy preview link drop, and next Monday I’ll post the recap to “Homecoming”! Check out the trailer for next week’s episode here and GEEK OUT WITH ME!