I Am A Rational Adult Who Loves SMALLVILLE

As you can probably tell, I had to give this blog up because I got a job writing for Badass Digest, which is great. I unfortunately just don’t have time to keep up three blogs, but I do hope to one day return to Watchtower and eventually do recaps of every episode of Smallville ever. It will take me twenty years or so, but that’s the goal.

In the meantime!

Tomorrow, the two-hour series finale of Smallville will air, a culmination of ten years of triumphs and missteps in a show that I cannot help but love. Loving this show with my unceasing critical eye has not been an easy journey; Smallville has never made it easy.  But it’s a journey I’ve cherished, and so, on the eve of its finale, I defend Smallville in the face of astonishment and contempt. Read it over at Badass Digest!

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Recap of Smallville episode 10.07 “Ambush”

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Episode 10.07 “Ambush” Airdate 11.5.10

Directed by Christopher Petry, Written by Holly Henderson and Don Whitehead

toastNumber of Drinking Game rules: 40

One of the best episodes this season! “Ambush” has so much going on, with the Lane family tension, the Vigilante Registration Act, the poor Talon, Clark’s conflict with the General, Rick Flag and the Suicide Squad and that *question* Clark asks at the end…lots of juicy goodness! Let’s get to it!

Previously, on Smallville: Season 4. Episode 4.16 “Lucy.” Season 9. Season 10 eps: 10.01 “Lazarus,” 10.02 “Shield,” 10.03 “Supergirl,” 10.04 “Homecoming,” 10.05 “Isis,” 10.06 “Harvest.”

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Suicide Squad mobile headquarters. Rick Flag (played by Ted Whittall) is tracking someone on several high-tech monitors with another dude. Other Dude is played by Elias Toufexis and is apparently named Emil LaSalle/Warp? Maybe? Toufexis also played Bronson in the S6 ep “Static” and Luke in the S3 ep “Asylum“—also he was Anson Weems in one of my favorite Supernatural eps, “Simon Said.” So! There you have it. Oh, anyway, LaSalle tells Flag that the target is headed towards the Kent farm.

SMALLVILLE Continue reading

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Recap of Smallville episode 10.06 “Harvest”

Sorry about the delay in getting this recap up! I’ve been affected with blue Kryptonite out sick. But I’m back in the saddle!

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Episode 10.06 “Harvest” Airdate: 10.29.10

Directed by: Turi Meyer, Written by: Al Septien and Turi Meyer

toastNumber of Drinking Game rules: 36

Ugh, this is not one of my favorite episodes. Although all the Tess/A(Lex)ander stuff was awesomely creepy, and obvs I don’t mind some naked sexytimes between Lois and Clark, the rest of this episode was drenched in watered down WEAK SAUCE. No Oliver?! Take my word for it, Smallville: you NEED Justin Hartley’s deliciously dry delivery. Trust. Still, there are 21 episodes in this final season—I guess they can’t all be winners.

Previously, on Smallville: Season 9. This season: episodes 10.01 “Lazarus,” 10.02 “Shield,” 10.03 “Supergirl,” 10.04 “Homecoming,” and 10.05 “Isis.”

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Recap of Smallville episode 10.05 “Isis”

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Episode 10.05 “Isis” Airdate 10.22.10

Directed by James Marshall, Written by Genevieve Sparling

toastNumber of Drinking Game rules: 21

The A plot was decent, but the ep is definitely bumped up with the stuff between Oliver and Tess, Oliver and Clark, and especially Clark and Lois (SQUEE!). “Isis” struck a nice balance between frivolous fun and significant character development, and that’s exactly where the show needs to be at this late point in the game!

Previously, on Smallville: Season 9. This season’s episodes: “Lazarus.” “Shield” (particularly “Shield,” when Lois accidentally knocks Isis’s necklace off Carter Hall‘s table into her purse). “Supergirl.” “Homecoming.”

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Metropolis Museum. Oliver’s being wooed by curator Adrianna for some wacky Green Arrow supplementation to the Isis exhibit he’s funding. She expects him to zipline in wearing a harness and a helmet, backed by “the Green Arrow girls.” Tess comes in for this last and is unsurprisingly grossed out. She thinks Oliver’s ploy for positive celebrity is so a “feisty blonde” will come back, but tells Oliver that he is no longer the person Chloe fell in love with. She tells him he’s become a caricature of himself. Oliver retorts that the city has fallen in love with him, and Tess replies, “Groupie love isn’t real love, Oliver. You used to know that.” Oliver is way harsh: “Do you even know what real love looks like anymore?” Dick! Adrianna returns, panicking that someone has stolen the cursed amulet of Isis from the exhibition crates. Whoever possesses it is doomed to spend an eternity in the underworld. Okay!

isis mirror Continue reading

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Recap of Smallville’s 200th episode “Homecoming”

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Episode 10.04 (#200, bishes!) “Homecoming” Airdate 10.15.10

Directed by Jeannot Szwarc, Written by Brian Peterson and Kelly Souders

toastNumber of Drinking Game rules: 45

Wow. This recap is going to be fairly hard to write, because I’m so moved by this episode, I’m finding it difficult to revert to my typical snarky self. Written by Smallville executive producers Souders and Peterson, who have been around since the first season of the show, “Homecoming” beautifully combines nostalgia for Smallville’s beginning and breathless anticipation for what is to come. The episode is clearly a love letter to the longtime fans of the show, rewarding us for staying with Smallville for ten years of varying quality, changing times and networks and a fluctuating cast. I have loved Smallville through high points and low, but I have never loved it as much, nor been as proud to be a fan, as I was when watching “Homecoming.”

Previously, on Smallville: season one. season five. season nine. This season: “Lazarus.” “Shield.” “Supergirl.”

homecoming lois and clark

Kent barn. Clark broods over various magazines addressing the superhero craze. He looks at the book that once held the key before Kara and Jor-El decided he doesn’t deserve to visit the Fortress of Solitude anymore. Lois arrives and glances at the magazines decrying The Blur. Lois says she will stand behind The Blur no matter what the media says, because she believes in him. She exposits that The Blur has taken a sabbatical from public presence after all the criticism, and suggests that Clark go with her to the Smallville High 5-year reunion for some levity. Clark’s surprised Lois wants to attend as she was only enrolled in SHS for 23 days and showed up for exactly five of those (that’s my girl!), but Lois says it was one of the few times she felt she fit in somewhere. She tells Clark that even though they’re not dating, they should go together. After all, she says, “You put the Smallville in Smallville, Smallville.” Cute! Continue reading

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Homecoming Recap Tomorrow!

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Sorry for the delay, but I just can’t bring myself to rush the recap of such a significant milestone! Tune back in tomorrow for the recap of Smallville’s EPIC 200th episode, “Homecoming!”

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Smallville’s 200th episode “Homecoming” premieres tonight! Get your Smallville scoop here!

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I cannot! Even tell you! How excited I am! About this episode!

But I don’t have to, do I? We’re all in this together! Smallville‘s 200th episode premieres tonight, and it’s going to be HUGE. HUUUUUUUGE! Check out the preview here:

and enjoy this hilariously awkward clip:

Lois and Clark return to Smallville High for their 5-year reunion! James Marsters returns as Brainiac 5! Clark sees his past (Lana! Chloe!) and his future (SUPERMAN, YO)! Smallville‘s 100th episode “Reckoning” includes a proposal, a death, several near deaths and time travel. It looks like TPTB are ready to top even that with “Homecoming.”

So let’s dig in to all the scoop we can find to prepare for this awesome event:

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Recap of Smallville episode 10.03 “Supergirl”

Correction to last week’s recap: I referred to the skull and crossbones logo as Deadshot‘s symbol, but that’s only because I’m dumb. It’s totally the logo for the Suicide Squad. Pay no attention to the crazy lady behind the curtain!

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Episode 10.03 “Supergirl” Airdate 10.8.10

Directed by Mairzee Almas, Written by Anne Cofell Saunders

toastNumber of Drinking Game rules: 14. Not even a full beer!

A pretty good ep with some serious developments when it comes to Darkseid, Oliver, Clois, and Clark’s journey. It certainly had some of that early-Smallville trashiness (fetish Lois, what the what?), but I still dug it. And I have to say, Laura Vandervoort (Kara Kent) has significantly improved. She looks great and didn’t annoy me once, versus the EVERY EPISODE in which she annoyed me during Season 7!

Previously, on Smallville: Season 9 recap. Episode 10.01 recap. Episode 10.02 recap.

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“Three Weeks Ago.” Darkseid forms into a swirly, raven-y mass out of the consul at the crow’s nest. In a radio studio, Cat Grant‘s favorite shock jock Gordon Godfrey (played beautifully by voice pro Michael Daingerfield) talks a bunch of smack about “illegal aliens” because he is into all kinds of pissing me off. Darkseid swoops into the window and jumps into his eyeballs. POSSESSED! That should totally be a drinking game rule on this show.

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Supergirl premieres tomorrow night: Get your Smallville scoop here!

Smallville‘s third ep of the season, “Supergirl,” premieres tomorrow night! In the meantime, get the goods on all the latest scoop!

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Read this interview and this interview with Laura Vandervoort (Kara Kent/Supergirl) and check out the preview for “Supergirl” to geek out even more for tomorrow night’s episode!

jon hamm superman

Okay, so obvs the big news in the kryptoverse is that Zack Snyder is directing Superman. According to this article, the fanpersons want Snyder to cast Tom Welling, and everyone else wants Jon Hamm. Well although I am an avowed fanperson, I’ve got to say I’m on Team Hamm. (HAH!) Mostly because I can’t stand the idea of Tom playing some other universe’s Superman. He’s Smallville‘s Superman! Also, Jon Hamm LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE SUPERMAN.

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Holy crap, my friends. Granny Goodness has been cast!

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Aww, our little fish stick’s all grow’d up! Arthur Curry/Aquman (Alan Ritchson) is getting hitched this season to…Queen  Mera! The newcomer will be played by Elena Satine. Continue reading

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Recap of Smallville episode 10.02 “Shield”

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Episode 10.02 “Shield” Airdate 10.1.10

Directed by Glen Winter, Written by Jordan Hawley 

toastNumber of Drinking Game rules: 33

Fun ep–although there wasn’t much in the way of plot development, loads of stuff was set up for later in the season, and we received plenty of character development for Clark, Oliver, Tess and Lois. And man oh MAN Tom Welling is still acting his ass off! He WANTS IT this season. Get it!

Justin Hartley’s voice tells us: “Previously, on Smallville:” last week. And also Absolute Justice.

shield lois and carter

Cold open: Africa. Lois bitches on the phone to Perry White about the lack of cushiness in her current assignment, because she is super profesh. She strolls into an archaelogical tent, nosing around, when Carter Hall/Hawkman enters, looking hella hot in typical desert wear. He tells her, “You never know what fate has in store for you.” Continue reading

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