In the meantime!

Tomorrow, the two-hour series finale of Smallville will air, a culmination of ten years of triumphs and missteps in a show that I cannot help but love. Loving this show with my unceasing critical eye has not been an easy journey; Smallville has never made it easy.  But it’s a journey I’ve cherished, and so, on the eve of its finale, I defend Smallville in the face of astonishment and contempt. Read it over at Badass Digest!

Episode 10.07 “Ambush” Airdate 11.5.10

Directed by Christopher Petry, Written by Holly Henderson and Don Whitehead

Number of Drinking Game rules: 40

One of the best episodes this season! “Ambush” has so much going on, with the Lane family tension, the Vigilante Registration Act, the poor Talon, Clark’s conflict with the General, Rick Flag and the Suicide Squad and that *question* Clark asks at the end…lots of juicy goodness! Let’s get to it!

Previously, on Smallville: Season 4. Episode 4.16 “Lucy.” Season 9. Season 10 eps: 10.01 “Lazarus,” 10.02 “Shield,” 10.03 “Supergirl,” 10.04 “Homecoming,” 10.05 “Isis,” 10.06 “Harvest.”

Suicide Squad mobile headquarters. Rick Flag (played by Ted Whittall) is tracking someone on several high-tech monitors with another dude. Other Dude is played by Elias Toufexis and is apparently named Emil LaSalle/Warp? Maybe? Toufexis also played Bronson in the S6 ep “Static” and Luke in the S3 ep “Asylum“—also he was Anson Weems in one of my favorite Supernatural eps, “Simon Said.” So! There you have it. Oh, anyway, LaSalle tells Flag that the target is headed towards the Kent farm.

Kent Farm of Sexytimes. Lois and Clark head downstairs in a decidedly post-coital manner, making with the bedroom eyes for about 45 minutes. Lois looks quite comfortable in Clark’s Smallville High jersey. Clark asks Lois whether she’s in the mood for breakfast, and Lois saucily tells him she’s in the mood for something else. She starts to head through the living room as Squeaky Clean Clark reminds her, “Uh, Lois, the bedroom’s upstairs.” Lois smilingly tells him that the porch swing is outside, and I can tell right now that she is going to be so good for this boy scout! He whooshes over to her and they become ensconsed in a make-out sesh that is damn near too hot for TV, and as Lois dispenses with Clark’s shirt (drink twice!), and they open the front door, they’re met with the unwelcome site of General Sam Lane (the awesome Michael Ironside) and Lois’s sister Lucy (smoking hot Peyton List). I mean, unwelcome by Lois and Clark. Totally welcome by me! Credits.

Kent farm. Clark tries to calm down Lois who is silently wigging about the uenxpected visit. Clark tells her it’s a good thing that her family wants to spend time with her, which is crazytalk. He tells her everything will be fine, and she replies in a panicky tone, “Fine won’t pass inspection. You have to be perfect.” She tells Clark how important it is to her that her dad like him, and as a daughter of not one but TWO dads, I can relate. The General enters and it’s instantly clear that although he seemed to like Clark in S4, he’s not pleased at the idea of Clark schtupping his daughter. The General gives Clark a hard time about living on his mommy’s farm and working in a basement; Clark holds his own with a pleasant smile on that handsome mug. The General gives him a ridiculously long list of chores to do to get the farm “up to code,” including cleaning the bathroom tile with a toothbrush and recaulking the shower. Clark is still all smiles until the General mentions that Martha is his opposition in the Senate; the General is the senior military advisor on the Vigilante Registration Act. Even though this bill is sorta out of nowhere, it makes for great and believable conflict on the show, so let’s go with it. The General decries vigilantes (such as the one who blew up the RAO solar tower uhm OOPS) as terrorists, and Clark sticks up for them to the General’s intense disapproval. Clark, blowing up that tower totally WAS a terrorist act, dude, even though you kinda had to. Still, civilians! Clark turns to poor Lois for support, as she frantically tries to change the subject. She sends Clark out for veggies to go with the starches, and Clark is displeased that she wasn’t in his corner.

Watchtower (holla!). Oliver storms in looking for the first aid kit, all pissy that it’s not where he left it. Tess calmly tells him to remove his shirt because she loves us and wants to make us happy. She administers first aid as Oliver grumbles about the axe-wielding psycho that bruised up his pretty back, and Tess tries to lighten the mood with a few jokes. Oliver’s not having it: “I can do this whole 9 to 5 thing with you, all right, but I draw the line at happy hour.” Tess gets suspicious about the axe-wielding psycho and scans Oliver’s torso, that lucky bitch, to discover the subdermal tattoo left by the Suicide Squad back in “Shield.” Phew! I was wondering when they were going to find that! Tess says she’s seen that target before when she worked for Checkmate and brings up a headshot of the supposedly deceased Rick Flag. Oliver recognizes him as the bully that kidnapped him and beat him up when he was all nakie in “Lazarus.” Tess is shocked to discover that Flag is still alive, and Oliver worries that he’s not the only one who’s been targeted. (Aside: it’s interesting that, according to Oliver, Tess has “moved in” to Watchtower, after her reaction when Clark and Oliver welcomed her to the team in “Isis.” I guess after realizing last week that A(LEX!)ander the clone is a total psycho, she’d rather not hang around at home anymore).

Kent Farm. Lois is trying to avoid having a meltdown as she cooks while the General watches TV. They overhear a news report announcing a giant tank fire just as Clark enters with the groceries. Lois gives him the intel and he whooshes away when the General’s back is turned. The General grumbles that Clark left Lois holding the bag as the news report announces that The Blur stopped the fire. Clark whooshes back with a bit of ash on his cheek and Lois tries to cover for him. Clark gets a call from Oliver and excuses himself. The General is not happy with all of Clark’s spazzy comins and goins, and he makes a surrepetitious phone call asking someone to look into his undeniably shady past.

Kent barn. Oliver scans Clark’s torso, the lucky bastard, and finds a similar Suicide Squad target under his skin. Clark hears someone coming up the stairs and urges Oliver to split, gesturing to the window (barn hole?). Oliver’s all, “Out the window? What, are we 16?” Clark keeps pushing, so Oliver rolls his eyes and executes a perfect flip out the window, onto his feet on the ground outside. hehe, so cute! It’s Lucy on the stairs, coming to flirt shamelessly with Clark and snoop around. Seems like Lucy’s still carrying a torch for Clark from S4; or, she’s just a magnificently shitty sister who tries to make out with all of Lois’s boyfriends. I’m gonna go with a little of both. So she lays one on an unexpecting Clark just as Lois enters. Lois’s dry delivery of “Really?!” is so very, very awesome. Lois takes her outside and tells Lucy that her highly transparent plan to cause mischief, mayhem and dramz isn’t going to work this time. Lois tells Lucy to make herself useful and go get some ice. Lucy pouts.

Lois re-enters the barn to find Clark punching some firewood to shit, grumbling about the General’s list of chores. Lo: “Careful Dad doesn’t see you making with the kung-fu there, Paul Bunyan.” Hee! Paul Bunyan. Clark apologizes for the Lucy-kiss, and Lois tells him it’s not his fault. Then, thinking better of it, she points out that Clark has SUPER-SPEED and should be able to avoid his girlfriend’s sister’s lips when the time comes. The lady has a point. Clark shrugs it off as being caught off-guard and then totally deflects this shit by accusing Lois of not standing up to her father earlier. Poor Lo is just trying to get through this stupid holiday (oh yeah, it’s apparently Thanksgiving now) and Clark says he thought she had no problem speaking her mind. Lois gives him a VERY LOW BLOW in saying that Clark doesn’t even have a family, so what the crap does he know? I might have paraphrased that some. I know that was kind of a shitty point to make, but she’s right. Clark’s lived alone on the farm for the past four years doing as he pleases; he hasn’t had to deal with seemingly insurmountable family politics in quite some time. Lois tells him that in order to be with her, he has to deal with her crazy family, and them’s just trufax.

Gas station. Lucy’s procuring some ice when she’s approached by Rick Flag in military drag. Lucy doesn’t ask for any real proof of his identity or credentials as he tells her he’s concerned about her father making enemies due to the Vigilante Registration Act, and says that the goverment is watching Clark Kent very closely. He gives her a pen with a blinking red light to sneak into her dad’s belongings so they can make sure he’s safe, AND SHE BELIEVES THIS. He also gives her a folder to say that she found in Clark’s belongings, and he tells her not to tell her dad that they met, and she goes along with all of it BECAUSE SHE IS A MORON. Lucy agrees and looks proud of herself for protecting her father; Marla warps time and space in order to reach through her television and punch Lucy in the face.

Watchtower. Tess is doing some research to track down Rick Flag, and Oliver groans, “Come on! Chloe would have this finished like yesterday!” Although I always appreciate your acknowledgement of Chloe’s superior skills, that was kinda uncool, dude. Tess tells him the same, saying she’s trying to help, and Oliver admits that after all the time he spent at Watchtower with Chloe, it’s really hard for him to see someone else in her position. Aww! Squee! He loves her so much!! Tess softens and tells him she’s not trying to take Chloe’s place (pshaw! As if you could! Although I do love you), but at some point Oliver’s going to have to start treating her like they’re on the same side. Oliver looks a bit chagrined.

Kent barn. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Clark proudly tells the General he’s completed all of the items on the stupid list, and the General sits Clark down and shines a bright light in his face, wondering why Lois is so interested in being with a reporter. Uhm, because she’s a reporter? He says he had the Pentagon look into Clark’s background and it was so spotless that Martha must have had it wiped. Go Senator Kent! The General shows pictures that Lucy “found” in the barn (clearly the folder given to her by Rick Flag) of Clark conversing with known superhero Kara in “Supergirl” and accuses Clark of being in league with the vigilantes. Well…he’s not wrong. Clark is incensed that the General dug into his family’s past: “You want to protect the United States, but as soon as you feel threatened, everyone else’s rights go out the window?” I LOVE HOW LIBERAL THIS SHOW IS. It’s like now that we’re in the final season, the writers have no fear of alienating fans or sponsors, so they’re just letting their ACLU flag fly! Clark is rational, fair and resolute here, and I love him for it. He stands up for himself and for his love for Lois. “You’re wrong to think we don’t belong together. I love your daughter and I don’t want a day to go by where I’m not with her.” Aww, shucks! The General’s not as prone to squeeing as I am; he tells Clark this is his last day with Lois and stalks out.

Kent kitchen. Clark enters and Lois tells him furiously that she’s managed to cover his secret, help him put out the tank fire, and even cook a decent meal for the first time in her life, and all Clark had to do is get along with his father for ONE day. Rather than respond to her somewhat unfair accusation, Clark gets to the point admirably: Lucy planted pictures of him and Kara in the barn and the General had the Pentagon pry into his past. Lucy and the General walk downstairs and say they’re taking Lois to the Talon apartment without Clark. Lucy surreptitiously drops the pen Flag gave her into the General’s pocket. The General pisses me off by barking at Lois, “That’s an order, young lady.” Clark looks beseechingly at Lois, who apologizes earnestly and leaves with a smug General and Lucy. Assholes!

Suicide Squad mobile headquarters. Flag and LaSalle prepare to shoot a fucking MISSILE at General Lane, using the pen Flag gave Lucy as a tracking device. Well done, Lucy, you gigantic dumbass.

Beautiful Talon apartment, for the very last time. *SNIFF* Lois defends Clark to the General, and Lucy tells her to stop with the damage control. Lois barks, “Back off, Lucy, or do you happen to have some compromising photos of ME that you’d like to share with the class?” OH SNAP! The General continues trying to convince Lois that Clark is bad news, and Lois cuts him off. “Everything you need to know about Clark is standing right in front of you! I appreciate that you like straight talk, so I will give it to you in one razor sharp line. I am staying with Clark and if you love me, you will respect that.” Erica Durance DESTROYS this scene; I can’t believe what a good actress she is. She appears truly devastated at being forced to stand up to her daddy, her hero, but she won’t back down. The General looks shocked and Lucy ushers him out of there before he has a chance to consider what Lois said.

Suicide Squad mobile headquarters. Rick Flag mutters in delight, “The rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air gave proof to the night, that our flag was still there.” GETTIT? FLAG?

Watchtower (holla!). Clark is looking OUTRAGEOUSLY GORGEOUS in his new jacket with his new aerodynamic hair. Tess tells Clark and Oliver that Flag considers all vigilantes to be freedom fighters and he would do anything to recruit or protect them, rather than hurt them. He, Tess and Oliver realize that Flag is after General Lane due to the Vigilante Registration Act; Clark whooshes out of there.

Dude. DUDE! The missile soars through the Talon window and an unbelievably cool slow-mo sequence entails as Lois almost hits the floor before Clark whooshes her out of there. From the alley outside the Talon, the General and Lucy react to the blast from the apartment windows as the General shouts in terror and agony, “LOIS!” All of a sudden Lois is standing right behind him looking shocked, and The Blur’s symbol is burned on the outside wall. So, so, so bad-ass, Clark. Point to you. The General murmurs in disbelief, “The Blur saved you.” I, for one, can’t believe the Talon is gone! After all of Lana‘s hard work!

Suicide Squad mobile headquarters. Flag and LaSalle notice an arrow shooting through the back door, as the truck is suddenly flipped several times. Oliver and Clark enter in full costume, looking AMAZING. God, I love it when these sexy boys team up! They tell Flag that the gig is up; they know he ’sploded the Talon. Flag says the goverment will use the Vigilante Registration Act to turn superheroes into weapons, and as X-Men taught us, he’s not wrong. Flag says vigilantes have to fight back and force the public to accept them as leaders. Clark says he’ll just stir up anti-vigilante hysteria and incite violence; Flag retorts that “violence is the only answer.” Emil LaSalle/Warp uses his warpy abilities to warp him and Flag outta there before Clark and Ollie can detain them.

Kent farm. Lois sets the table as Lucy apologizes for being such a pointless skank. Lois doesn’t give in that easily, telling her that she almost got Lois and the General killed, not to mention almost getting Clark arrested and making the Talon go kaboom. Lucy says she’ll replace all of Lois’s belongings, as if that’s the biggest issue here. Lois at first says that she and Clark will never be able to trust Lucy again, but eventually comes around, telling her that she understands the desire to protect their dad. Of course, Lucy totally did the OPPOSITE of that, but I guess her (stupid) intentions were (stupidly) good. Lois says that she and Lucy have both been fighting so long to be considered the perfect daughter that they’ve forgotten how to be sisters. Lucy, earnestly: “No, Lois. You’re a great sister.” Aww, shucks. Okay, I forgive you, Lucy. More importantly, so does Lois, and the sisters tearfully hug. Sweetness!

Watchtower (holla!). Sweet reconciliations all over this episode! Oliver comes in with beer and take-out, and Tess observes that this looks quite a lot like happy hour. She says she’s figured out how to remove the subdermal tattoos and tells him not to worry, “my friend.” Oliver cutely objects to the word “friend” but concedes that he can definitely be friendly. He tells Tess that this is his last time to visit Watchtower; he’s realized that by revealing his identity to the world, he’s put Watchtower and the Justice League’s secrecy at risk. Oh man! So sad. Tess points out that with Watchtower being such an important place to him and Chloe, she knows it’s a big sacrifice, but Ollie says it’s the right thing to do. ”Watchtower’s in good hands.” Tess looks sad; so does Marla.

Kent barn. The General apologizes to Clark for being such a dick and says that he admires Clark for standing up to him. “No one’s had the guts to talk to me like that since my wife passed away.” Aww, Teri Hatcher! The General tells Clark that he’s loved serving his country and has even gotten to be a hero a few times, but advises Clark that spending time with loved ones is what’s most important. He says that Lois has a brand new hero and gives Clark very knowing eyebrows; he TOTALLY knows Clark is The Blur. It’s heavily implied here. Clark asks if The Blur’s rescue of Lois has helped him change his mind on the Vigilante Registration Act, and the General concedes, “Gotta admit I kind of like her having her own private guardian angel.” What daddy wouldn’t?! But he adds, “Not every hero has The Blur’s code of honor.” Clark counters, “Not all politicians have yours. Some will use the law to destroy people.” The General replies, “I’m a military man, Clark. I have to believe that when push comes to shove, America will do the right thing.” He pauses, and adds, “Like Lois did by you.” He says that through years of giving Lois’s boyfriends hell, and impossibly long lists of tasks, he was trying to test Lois, not the boyfriends. (I don’t think he ever met Oliver, or surely we would have heard about it.) He said through all the hassling and pain he gave those boys, Lois never said a word. “That’s how I know she didn’t love them.” SOB! This scene killed me. BUT WAIT! Clark smiles and takes a deep breath. “About Lois and I…there’s a question I’ve been wanting to ask you.” END SCENE HOLY CRAP CLARK ASKED FOR LO’S HAND IN MARRIAGE SQUEEEEE!!!

Thanksgiving dinner! When did Lois learn to cook, seriously? There’s lots of slow-mo smiling and pretty lighting and lurve.

Holy shizz, the VRA passed. Rick Flag is PISSED! He calls it a declaration of war and gives orders to Emil LaSalle, who warps into the VRA headquarters. The building SPLODES, and a button of the crossed-out El Shield flies through the air. OH SNAP!

Holy BUCKETS, a lot happened in this episode! Rick Flag is morphing into Magneto, and Clark will be the Professor X in the “war” between vigilantes and civilians!! Oliver and Tess made up! Lois dealt with huge family issues, and Clark is going to propose! The Talon is gone! Porch swing sex! THINGS ARE HAPPENING!

Thanks to the Smallville Wiki and The CW for the links and pics!”

Next week: “Abandoned”! Teri Hatcher as Mama Lane!  Lois visits the Fortress of Solitude to mend Clark’s relationship with Jor-El! Granny Goodness rears her silver head and calls Tess family! Looks like we’re finally about to get some Tessplanation. Enjoy the preview here:

Be sure to tune in Friday at 8/7c on The CW, and don’t forget to play the drinking game! Check back next Tuesday for my recap of “Abandoned” here at Watchtower.

Link Drop:

Kryptonsite is reporting that the excellent Phil Morris will be returning as John Jones/Martian Manhunter in episode 10.12 “Collateral.” Here’s hoping! I miss that dude.

Watch with Kristen reports the tragic news that Allison Mack won’t return as Chloe Sullivan until 2011. *sob* We miss you, Chlo!

Episode 10.06 “Harvest” Airdate: 10.29.10

Directed by: Turi Meyer, Written by: Al Septien and Turi Meyer

Number of Drinking Game rules: 36

Ugh, this is not one of my favorite episodes. Although all the Tess/A(Lex)ander stuff was awesomely creepy, and obvs I don’t mind some naked sexytimes between Lois and Clark, the rest of this episode was drenched in watered down WEAK SAUCE. No Oliver?! Take my word for it, Smallville: you NEED Justin Hartley’s deliciously dry delivery. Trust. Still, there are 21 episodes in this final season—I guess they can’t all be winners.

Previously, on Smallville: Season 9. This season: episodes 10.01 “Lazarus,” 10.02 “Shield,” 10.03 “Supergirl,” 10.04 “Homecoming,” and 10.05 “Isis.”

Pretty country road. Lois and Clark are cruisin’ in a convertible, headed on assignment. Lo is grilling Clark about the time they want to the Phantom Zone: Yup, Kryptonian. What about the time “that horny toad-looking thing” crashed Chloe and Jimmy’s wedding? Yup, Kryptonian. And how about that time we found that spaceship? Totes Kryptonian. Lois marvels that she’s dating an alien; rather than wigging out about it as Clark fears, she thinks “it’s like dating a god, or Bono.” Oh, honey. Not even Clark Kent is as sanctimonious as Bono. It comes out that the reason our intrepid reporters are covering the lame-ass cherry festival is because Clark got them reassigned so Lois wouldn’t put herself in danger covering the anti-vigilante rally. Lois is politely affronted that Clark thinks she can’t take care of herself. Clark is typically over-protective.

Flat tires! Lois admires Clark’s prowess as he easily lifts the car and takes off one of the two flats; however, there’s only one spare and they have no cell service. A creepy little kid who can’t act, Charlotte, strolls over and hams it up about thank the lordy they’re safe and wouldn’t you like some fresh-squeezed lemonade. Lois decides to stay with Charlotte rather than go with Clark to the mechanic, just to prove a point about her self-reliance. And just to be annoying, she and Charlotte stay and watch Clark stroll off so he can’t use his WHOOOSHing abilities. CREDITS.

Clark whooshes back, preparing to replace the tire, when he accidentally cuts himself. CUTS himself?! But how?! A policeman appears and is all sorts of rude when Clark explains that he can’t find his girlfriend and they had a fight. Clark finds a board with nails extending from it and surmises that this is how they got the flat; the cop is unimpressed. The cop seems like he’s just rudely skeptical, but Mr. Marla and I both yelled “HE DID IT!” the first time we saw this, so, yeah. The cop “doesn’t believe him” until Clark points out some horse-and-buggy tracks, so the cop decides to “help Clark find Lois.” If you buy that.

Lois and Charlotte enter a charming village by buggy; Charlotte has apparently promised Lois a ride to the train station so Lo can make it back to Metropolis in time to cover the rally. “I’m not going to miss a front page story just because he thinks I can’t take care of myself!” she announces cheerfully to the oblivious little kid. Charlotte introduces Lois to her creepy mom, who insists that Lois stay for dinner before her ride to the train station. Lo’s annoyed but pretends to be gracious. “Go fetch your father, Charlotte. Tell him the ham needs carving.” IS LOIS THE HAM?! (yes. yes she is.)

Luthor mansion. Aww, Tess is throwing creepy-ass A(lex)ander a birthday party! And actual children are attending! He gives her a big hug and tells her it’s the best birthday ever; Tes is touched. They’re certainly dressing Tess rather mumsy lately, aren’t they? Guess the Smallville costume designer went to the Splice-school of Sudden Moms Dress Old. Tess is called away by a hot scientist who tells Tess that she has been searching for a cure for the accelerated mitosis affecting A(lex)ander but the condition appears to be irreversible. Tess counters that he has grown four years in two weeks and it’s unacceptable. She wants A(lex)ander to feel that he’s a normal little boy, but Dr. Pretty replies that it’s impossible, as he’s not normal. Dr. Pretty wants A(lex)ander to stay at the lab, under supervision, but Tess insists that’s not happening. Tess tells Dr. Pretty that she knows the doctor was responsible for many of Lex’s Lab of Horrors, and A(lex)ander is the chance for both of them to make things right. Tess won’t let that little boy grow into a monster. Keep telling yourself that, sugar. They hear a crash and Tess rushes back into the party room to discover A(lex)ander on the floor, epileptin’. Tess harps at Dr. Pretty to “Do something! Help him!” as Dr. Pretty gives her a stone-cold look that clearly says “Let a sister do her thing, yo.” Tess discovers a paper plate (how déclassé, Tess) on which A(lex)ander has scribbled the El shield with disturbing vehemence. Commercials!

Officer HeDidIt! shows Clark around, including a water pump filled with…wait for it…blue Kryptonite! So that explains why Clark doesn’t have his powers, obvs. Officer HeDidIt! tells Clark that the blue meteor rock rained down from the sky 20 years ago, and that their crops have thrived and water has been super yummy ever since. Clark tells him that meteor rocks have had a more detrimental effect where he’s from, but Officer HeDidIt! proudly counters that their citizens haven’t suffered so much as a common cold ever since, so obviously everything’s peachy keen. As someone currently suffering from a common cold, allow me to say: suck it, Officer. Clark hears bells in the distance and asks what the sound is, and Officer HeDidIt! says: “Something I wish you hadn’t heard.” THWACK with a shovel, and although I’m not one for I told you sos, I told you HE DID IT!

Luthor mansion. A(lex)ander apologizes for ruining the party, and Tess comforts him. They hug and he stealthily sneaks a key out of Tess’s pocket. She shows him the paper plate and asks him what the El shield means to him. “It’s the symbol of the bad man.  He comes into my dreams to hurt me.” Tess tells A(lex)ander that she’d never let anyone hurt him, and he becomes increasingly agitated, insisting that the bad man WILL hurt him. Tess unwisely turns her back and A(lex)ander sneaks out the room, locking her inside. d’oh!

Boring A plot. Lois sits at dinner with the family of creeps, trying to hint that they should scurry along and get her to the train station before too long. Papa Creep scolds her for rushing through dinner, as tonight is the Harvest Celebration. “We glorify the day we were shown the Lord’s sign,” meaning the blue Kryptonite that crashed from the sky during the meteor shower. Their daughter Esther was ringing the warning bells when she was struck by a meteor rock and died. Before that happened, the village was beset by draught, bad crops and illness, and ever since their crops have bountiful and their citizens healthy. Lois is skeptical that this has anything to do with Esther’s death, and Papa Creep says this is because she’s not a believer. He mentions a yearly sacrifice but Lois is too dense to understand yet that THEY MEAN HER. Mama and Papa Creep clear the table, and Lois whispers to little Charlotte that she’s going to hit the road. Charlotte: “We’ll never let you leave.  You’ve been chosen…like my sister.” Lo finally gets a clue and runs out the door where she’s greeted by a torch-wielding mob. Papa Creep appears and restrains Lois, telling the villagers to rejoice: “We’ve found our sacrifice!” Commercials.

Clark wakes up in a small room, surprised to find Lois there dressed like a pilgrim. Lo tells Clark she really stepped in it and apologizes for being so high-and-mighty earlier; she really needs him to super-speed them out of this mess. Clark explains that the villagers have been drinking the blue K, so whenever they’re around he can’t use his powers. Lois realizes that when she took the blue dagger out of Clark’s chest in a much better episode this season, he was suddenly healed. Clark is touched and amazed that Lois is the one who brought him back from the brink of death, but y’all, there’s really no time for this. The cabin is surrounded by creepy villagers; Lois finds a cellar through which they can escape, after she picks the lock with a handy-dandy bobby pin. She tells Clark to change clothes first so he’ll blend in, and after he takes off his shirt (drink twice!) revealing rippling back muscles, she bites her lip and murmurs to herself, “Why are we never somewhere romantic when he takes off his shirt?” Just wait, little lady! One thing I’ve always appreciated about Lois, even back in Season 4, is that she admires Clark as the gorgeous specimen of flawless manmeat that he is.

Kent barn. Tess has escaped to find A(lex)ander brooding in Clark’s loft. That’s Clark’s job! A(lex)ander tells Tess that this is where he tied Clark’s first bowtie, where Clark told him he wished they could be brothers, where Lex told Clark that their friendship would be a thing of legend. GOOSEBUMPS, PEOPLE! Tess tells A(lex)ander that if he wants that to be true, he can still befriend Clark, and A(lex)ander replies that he could never forgive Clark for making his father hate him, taking away everything he ever cared about, and repeatedly lying about who he is. Tess tells A(lex)ander that Clark is NOT the bad man, Lex is, that he used them both, and A(lex)ander doesn’t have to be a slave to his memories. She tells A(lex)ander that she wants to help him, and A(lex)ander (correctly) assumes that she’s just trying to redeem herself for the darkness inside her. He says that she’s only ever cleaved to stronger men: first Oliver Queen, then Lex Luthor, then Zod, and now Clark Kent. Tess loses it and backhands him: woah! She then falls to her knees, apologizing: “Please, A(lex)ander! Please!” A(lex)ander coldly replies: “Don’t call me that. My name is LEX.” You haven’t quite earned that heavy mantle yet, little dude.

Boring A plot. Clark and Lois are trying to sneak through the village, Lois disguised in a cloak, Clark in a very fetching fedora. Lois is spotted by her harlot nail polish and Papa Creep arrives on horseback to prevent their escape. As Clark tries to help Lois, Papa Creep SCYTHES him right through the six-pack, and it appears as if Clark’s dead. Lois sobs Clark’s name about a million times, contributing to the high drink count of this episode, as they pull her away. As always, Erica Durance is !ACTING! her ass off despite the unbelievably lame nature of the material they’re giving her. Commericals.

This shit’s getting old, ya heard? I’m going to try to rush through the rest. So Lois is on an altar, telling the scarecrow-masked villagers (man, I wish this were an episode about Scarecrow instead, as I’d suspected from the preview) that what they’re calling sacrifice is actually murder, and they know it’s wrong even if they don’t admit it. Papa Creep isn’t trying to hear that, and they get ready to SACRIFICE even though some of the villagers look kinda chagrined. After Clark is buried by some yokels and they move away, thus ending the blue K influence over Clark, he punches through the ground and arrives just in time, shooting into the crowd with a shotgun to get them to dissipate. At first I thought he actually shot someone, which is totally not okay for Superman, but I think it’s just shoddy editing. At any rate, he moves up on the altar just as the bucket of blue K flames is dumped on him and Lois. Even though he doesn’t have his powers, he jumps over Lois to protect her from the flames, scalding his back something serious in the process. The villagers move back and Clark’s powers (and back) begin to restore, as Lois realizes that if Clark is free from any blue-K-sweating villagers, he’s got his abilities again. So she does a hilarious Pulp Fiction bit to scare them off: “And he will strike down upon thee with GREAT vengeance and FURIOUS anger! And…he will use his heat vision to RAZE your village, and his…his super-breath to SMITE your crops!” HAH! That part almost made this whole episode worth it. The villagers back off and Clark and Lois whoooosh outta there. Commercials.

Luthor mansion. Tess regards a small vial of antidote that Dr. Pretty has scrounged up, modeled after Dr. Pete Dinsmore’s research on his cloned daughter Emily! AWESOME SHOUT-OUT! Emily totally also had accelerated mitosis, although she could move crazy fast and thank god A(lex)ander can’t, or Tess would already be in a world of trouble. Tess murmurs, “I wanted so badly to save that little boy,” and then pulls a DYNASTY! and throws the vial into the fire! Dr. Pretty is aghast, and Tess tells her, “Destroy all your research. In the morning he’ll be locked up again for everyone’s safety.” WHY WAIT UNTIL MORNING?! Dr. Pretty reminds Tess that without the antitode, he’ll be dead in six weeks. Tess: “That’s the point. Because he’s not just a clone. He IS Lex Luthor.” DUN DUN DUUUUN!

Kent barn. Lois gloats about their front page story bumping Cat Grant‘s headline, and they exposit that they’ve sent the feds after the creepy village cultists. Lois uses their harrowing trip as another reason to convince Clark to step into the light as a symbol of hope for people in a world of chaos. Clark apologizes for being over-protective and Lois says that they will always be there for each other. Clark gives Lois Virgil Swann’s journal, which is kind of a big deal, telling her: “I want you to know me completely, with no secrets.  Because you’re the one.  You always will be.” Swoooon! They start making out and Lois drops the invaluable book because DAMN Clark is hot. They have very romantic-seeming sex, with candles and hand-holding, even though I HATE IT when characters hold hands during sex. Dudes: YOU NEED YOUR HANDS FOR SEX. Anyway, it’s very sweet and their first time unless you count the future, so I’m quite happy for them.

Luthor mansion. Many pages of scribbled El shields scatter the floor, as A(LEX!!!)ander stands in front of a full-length mirror in black pants, black shoes, and a purple oxford shirt, otherwise known as Lex Luthor’s Uniform. He shaves the last bit of curly red hair off his shiny dome and smiles diabolically into the mirror. CREDITS.

Thanks to Smallville Wiki and The CW for the links and pics!

Next week, on Smallville: Ambush! Michael Ironside and Peyton List return as Lois’s estranged fam, General Sam Lane and sister Lucy! Just in time for a very special Thanksgiving episode of Smallville. And is that Rick Flag and Suicide Squad I spy? Yay!  Looks to be a much higher quality ep than “Harvest.” Check out the preview here:

and a hilarious preview clip here:

I love you, Michael Ironside!

Be sure to tune in Friday at 8/7c on the CW for the premiere of “Ambush” and don’t forget to play the drinking game! Check back in next week for my recap; see you then!

Link Drop:

Watch With Kristen teases us about the potential returns of Michael Rosenbaum (Lex Luthor), Kristen Kreuk (Lana Lang) and/or Annette O’Toole (Martha Kent), as well as discusses Teri Hatcher’s guest appearance as Lois Lane’s mom.

Yes! Alaina Huffman is definitely returning as Black Canary this season!

In other Justice League news, Alan Ritchson (Arthur Curry/Aquaman) gives a great interview about his return, working with Tom Welling as a director, Aquaman’s new wife Mera and his new grown-up suit!

Finally, TV Guide gives a sneak peek at the wife of Justin Hartley (Oliver Queen), Lindsay Hartley, in her freaky role as Mad Harriet on an upcoming ep of Smallville!

Episode 10.05 “Isis” Airdate 10.22.10

Directed by James Marshall, Written by Genevieve Sparling

Number of Drinking Game rules: 21

The A plot was decent, but the ep is definitely bumped up with the stuff between Oliver and Tess, Oliver and Clark, and especially Clark and Lois (SQUEE!). “Isis” struck a nice balance between frivolous fun and significant character development, and that’s exactly where the show needs to be at this late point in the game!

Previously, on Smallville: Season 9. This season’s episodes: ”Lazarus.” “Shield” (particularly “Shield,” when Lois accidentally knocks Isis’s necklace off Carter Hall‘s table into her purse). “Supergirl.” “Homecoming.”

Metropolis Museum. Oliver’s being wooed by curator Adrianna for some wacky Green Arrow supplementation to the Isis exhibit he’s funding. She expects him to zipline in wearing a harness and a helmet, backed by “the Green Arrow girls.” Tess comes in for this last and is unsurprisingly grossed out. She thinks Oliver’s ploy for positive celebrity is so a “feisty blonde” will come back, but tells Oliver that he is no longer the person Chloe fell in love with. She tells him he’s become a caricature of himself. Oliver retorts that the city has fallen in love with him, and Tess replies, “Groupie love isn’t real love, Oliver. You used to know that.” Oliver is way harsh: “Do you even know what real love looks like anymore?” Dick! Adrianna returns, panicking that someone has stolen the cursed amulet of Isis from the exhibition crates. Whoever possesses it is doomed to spend an eternity in the underworld. Okay!

Talon apartment. Lois is dressed in a ridiculous themed costume, as per yuuzh, looking outrageously gorgeous, as per yuuzh. She’s practicing her speech to Clark, telling him that she knows he’s The Blur, and she’s just generally giddy and adorable. “Hey Clark, you’re Blurrific!” Hell yes! Go with that one; it’s awesome. Tying a trench coat around her barely-there Egyptian dress, she decides she’s going to start with coffee and donuts. I decided the same thing this morning! After one last glance in the mirror, Lois tells herself proudly, “Carpe diem, Lois, you can do this. By tomorrow, you’ll be living in a whole new world.” She grabs her bag and the camera goes all Fight Clubby into the folds of her purse, revealing the half-hidden amulet. CREDITS!

Queen office. Oliver’s hassling someone on the phone about the disappearance of the amulet, when Clark walks in, looking rather handsome. Oliver is also looking rather handsome. Goddamn, this is a fine-looking show! At any rate, Clark tells Oliver he’s decided to tell Lois his secret. Yay! Oliver: “Okay, that’s officially the biggest news I’ve heard all day.” Oliver asks Clark what changed his mind, and Clark tells him that he’s seen the future, and it WAS GLORIOUS. Oliver: “Okay, now that’s officially the biggest news I’ve heard all day. You know you sound crazy when you talk like that, right?” HEEE! I love it when these boys are friendly. They have such great rapport. Oliver can tell that Clark is hoping he’ll talk him out of it, but Oliver thinks this is a great idea. He says that coming out was the best decision he could have made, and that the city has embraced him for it. Oliver shows Clark an array of breakfast baskets, flower arrangements and his very own cereal to prove it. I’m not gonna lie, I would do almost ANYTHING for a basket of mini-muffins.  Clark points out that telling the truth to Lois didn’t work so hot for Oliver when they were together: “She dumped you!” Oliver: “Uh, we broke up.” Sure, keep telling yourself that, stud. Oliver points out that he and Lois were never meant to be together. “Look, Clark, she loves you. That makes you a lucky man.  Take it from me. Living without love is not really living. It’s existing. The question you have to ask yourself is—what are you willing to risk for love?” IT’S A THEME, YOU GUYS.

Daily Planet. Lois is rearranging her and Clark’s nameplates, all cute and nervous and spazzy to have her big convo with Clark. He walks up and they have a sweet moment over donuts, and everything with them is so insanely adorbs lately! Still, why are they each planning on having this big discussion at work? Unprofesh! Cat Grant walks up and interrupts the smoking hot chemistry. Lois is displeased to see her; Cat is displeased to see that Lois is wearing knee-high gold gladiator sandals and a trench coat; Lois replies that Oliver’s asked her to cover the themed museum gala that evening. Look, I work at a museum (yep!). We don’t DO themed galas. My job would be lots awesomer if we did. Also, Lo, while that’s an appropriate reason for you to be wearing a backless “Egyptian” mini-dress and high-heeled gold gladiator sandals, it is NOT an appropriate reason for you to be wearing those items TO WORK. Change in the bathroom afterwards, lordy! Anyway, Lois and Cat hate each other immediately, no surprise there. Lois snits to Cat in reference to the gala: “Oh, did you not get an invitation? Sucks.” Cat in turn makes the unwise decision to flirt with Clark in front of Lois, telling him coyly that she can’t wait to work with him again. “You’re the Popeye to my Olive, the Mickey to my Minnie…” Lois: “The sick to my stomach.” Hah! Cat wants Clark to work with her on the story of the missing amulet, but Clark blows her off and tells Lois to meet him on the roof in a few minutes. Lois is all: SCORE!

Rooftop. Lois arrives first and nervously applies her lucky lipstick. As she reaches in her purse, she discovers the missing amulet and is chagrined to realize that she’s the one who inadvertently stole it. She lifts it up to the sun to get a better look at it, and FLASH! Lois’s eye make-up has just been turned up to 11! You know what that means, boys and girls? POSSESSION! Clark arrives and jumps right into telling Lois his big news. He says he’s tried to tell her before but then had to go back in time to change things, but that wasn’t Lois’s fault. “You were perfect.” Aww, she really was, wasn’t she? Anyway, Lois/Isis, henceforth known as Losis, tells Clark with her big, scary voice that she will allow him to give her some information if it is of importance to her. Clark doesn’t seem to notice that something’s amiss as he takes a deep breath and reveals, “I’m The Blur.” Losis: “That is of no importance to me.” Sad trombones! Fortunately Losis shoots off into the sky in a blaze before Clark can get his little feelings too hurt. NOW he realizes something’s up.

Watchtower (holla!). Clark and Oliver are trying to find Carter Hall to discover why the hell Lois CAN FLY BY THE WAY, but he’s apparently on sabbatical after the events in “Shield.”  If by “sabbatical,” you mean “dying so he can be reunited with his eternal love,” then yes, yes he is. Clark wants to get Tess all up in this action since she’s smarter than these two jocks combined, but Oliver maintains that she can’t be trusted and she can’t replace Chloe at Watchtower. Or in his heart, he does not bother to add, but we totally know he’s thinking it. Oliver had to cancel the gala and says the curator Adrianna (whose name is the real name of Isis in the comics, so I’m not sure if something’s supposed to come of that or not) is livid. Oliver explains the Isis legend to Clark, driving home the point that Isis would literally unleash hell on earth in order to be reunited with her love Osiris.

Museum. Losis whooshes in, breaks a crate and grabs the statue of Osiris containing his heart so she can resurrect him. Cat Grant’s been snooping around and tries to get a pic of Losis’s treachery, but Clark arrives and whooshes Cat outside to a coffee shop before she even knows what’s happening. Excellent use of your superspeed, dude.

Tess’s office at the Daily Planet. Tess talks to a therapist about little A(lex)ander’s creepy-ass tendencies. You know, his tendency to grow into a megalomaniacal super-villain? That one. The doctor tells Tess that A(lex)ander is unstable and needs to be monitored. He leaves and Tess frets rather maternally as Cat enters and sees a picture of A(lex)ander, assuming he’s Tess’s son. She tells him when her own son is sick, he needs chicken noodle soup and Peter Pan, but Tess isn’t interested in Cat’s homespun advice. Cat gets to the point: she knows The Blur’s identity, and this person is working right in Tess’s own bullpen. Tess wigs silently, trying to discover exactly how much Cat knows, when Cat reveals that she thinks Lois is The Blur. Oh, how Tess laughs! She laughs and laughs. She is clearly INCREDIBLY relieved that Cat is so very, very stupid. Cat vows to get proof.

Queen office. Tess recaps this week’s wackiness (hey, that’s my job!), wondering how the shit any of this even happened. Oliver: “Just another Friday night in Metropolis. Who’s ready for the weekend?” God, I love Justin Hartley’s delivery ALWAYS. Clark arrives and Tess and Oliver talk over each other, each trying to share their theory about Osiris’s resurrection with Clark. It’s like Abbott and Costello up in here! Clark waits patiently for ONE of them to spit it out, and Tess tells Clark she thinks she knows a way to turn Losis back into Lois. She gets on Oliver’s laptop to do some research, and he’s all OH HELL TO THE NAH. She knows he doesn’t trust her, but says very plainly and scornfully that their dumb asses need help, and she’s the smart cookie to give it to them. She also maintains that she’s destroyed all of Cat’s evidence about Losis. Clark makes tracks for the museum to keep Losis from resurrecting Osiris.

Museum. Losis smashes some invaluable shit up, finding the crate holding Osiris’s sarcophagus only to discover it empty. Clark whooshes in as Losis breaks down, and can I take a moment to say how much I enjoyed Erica Durance’s performance this week? This is a dumb plot but she plays it AMAZINGLY, with powerful grief and fury as Isis and powerful love and joy as Lois. Anyhoo, Losis plays word games with Clark, maintaining that he must not really love the vessel she’s using (Lois) if he wouldn’t risk unleashing hell on earth the way she’s willing to do for Osiris. blah blah love risk sacrifice blah, it’s all a little tedious. You get the point. Losis decides to sacrifice Clark to Osiris and uses her magical powers to bind him to the sarcophagus. She speaks a lot of gibberish as Cat Grant spies on her with the camera on her phone, muttering, “I will never understand liberals.” Heee! I know Cat is inexcusably irritating, but Keri Lynn Pratt’s performance makes me giggle every time. Losis holds Osiris’s petrified heart over Clark, revives it so it begins beating again, and prepares to kill Clark with her dagger. This may well have worked because as we learned in the hilariously stupid episode “Spell,” magic can hurt Clark.

Anyway, Oliver arrives in the nick of time and tells Clark that Tess learned that the heat of the sun through the gem of the amulet will release Lois from Isis’s power. Clark escapes from the binds and he and Ollie employ some TEAMWORK! as Oliver uses his arrow to shoot the amulet off of Losis, Clark speedily catches it and eye-burns it, then whooshes over to catch Lois—no longer Losis—as she falls. Lois awakes and wonders why they’re taking a behind-the-scenes tour of the museum. “I love you, Clark, but sometimes you are such a nerd.” TRUE.

Watchtower (holla!). Tess arrives and finds Oliver brooding by the window. He tells her that she was right; he had become a caricature of himself. He was trying to fill the emptiness inside him, and he says that Tess is one of the few people who would have called him out on it. Tess points out that Chloe would, too (obviously!), and Oliver breaks my heart: “God, I miss her. I miss her laugh, and her strength, and the way her eyes lit up when I entered the room. She really loved me.” We all miss her, Ollie. I said it last week, but it means so much to me that the show has continued Chloe’s legacy in such a significant way for this final season, despite Allison Mack’s continued absence. I feel Chloe’s presence in every single episode, and that’s a meaningful achievement. Tess’s heart is broken, too, for other reasons, and Oliver apologizes for saying she couldn’t recognize true love. Tess tells him it was the truth, that she hasn’t had much love in her life. Sad face! Clark enters and he and Oliver proudly tell Tess they couldn’t have rescued Lois without her help. They offer her the use of Watchtower and welcome her to the team, and Tess is overcome by their trust and faith in her. She runs from the room in tears, and Oliver asks Clark, “Do you really think we can trust her?” Clark muses, “We’ll find out.” He probably kind of doubts it all of a sudden, based on her reaction. Cassidy Freeman is a truly talented actress, by the way. Tess leans against the wall, weeping and trying to catch her breath, obviously struggling with the secret of A(lex)ander. And let’s not forget whatever the hell was up with Granny Goodness in last season’s finale! Tess has definitely got some complications to reveal before the season’s up.

Luthor mansion. Tess runs into the doctor and tells him she’s changed her mind about allowing him to monitor A(lex)ander. She said he just needs to be loved, and the doctor tells her she’s risking her safety by allowing this adorable little psycho to live with her. A(lex)ander’s rocking some absolutely precious jim-jams, making him appear slightly less creepy than usual. He points to his measurements drawn on the wall and proudly tells Tess that he’s grown. Uhm, a lot. FAST. Fast enough to turn into Michael Rosenbaum by the end of the series? From my lips to God’s ears, right? Tess scoops him up and begins to read Peter Pan to him, telling him that it’s a story about the adventures of growing up. A(lex)ander tells Tess earnestly that he loves her, and she tears up as she begins to read him the story.

Daily Planet. Cat runs up to Lois and stabs her in the hand with a pen, trying to prove that Lois is impervious. Lois hauls off, ready to punch the shit out of Cat (that’s my girl!), when Clark intercepts the punch smoothly. “Ladies, who’d like to go first?” Heee! He’s so cute. Lois and Cat start babbling simultaneously, and Cat reveals that she has photographic evidence that Lois is The Blur and tried to perform “a satanic s-e-x ritual.” Lois is incensed: “I may be no angel, hon, but I’m definitely not into the devil.” Clark whooshes away and back so fast that neither Cat nor Lois notices, but when Cat reaches for her phone to show the evidence, it falls apart in her hand. Hah! Cat whines that those were her only copies and Lois smirks that she made a rookie mistake. I LOVE THIS SCENE! Clark explains that Lois isn’t The Blur; rather, that she was possessed by the spirit of Isis. Cat is disbelieving and Lois snarks, “This is Metropolis. Weird things happen all the time. Get used to it!” Word.

BIG DEAL SCENE! In the archives room, Clark bandages Lois’s hand and Lois laughs that Cat thought she was The Blur. She prepares to tell Clark that she knows he is, instead, but Clark tells her she doesn’t know The Blur and that he probably has a good reason not to tell her who he is. Lois is devastated, and frankly, so was I. I WAS SO PISSED when I thought this show was going to cop out AGAIN on Clark’s secret. We saw this a hundred times with Lana; Clark would prepare to tell her the truth, some stupid Freak of the Week or random catastrophe would intervene and Clark would decide it was too dangerous. It’s too late in the show for that shit! BUT WAIT… Lois is tearful: “He’s never going to tell me, is he?” Clark: “Not if it means putting your life at risk.” Lois: “I wish he knew I was willing to take that risk.” She prepares to leave the room, and all of a sudden Clark MANS UP: “All my life I’ve been afraid, Lois. Afraid of people knowing the truth about me. Afraid of them rejecting me, and even if they didn’t, still losing them. I’ve been afraid of everything I can’t control. But when I was faced with the idea of losing you forever…” Lois turns around, light shining in her eyes, “…it made me realize there’s something I’d regret more than anything else—and that’s not telling you the truth about me. Cause that’s the only way we could share a life together. I know the odds are stacked against us and we’d be risking everything, but if you’re ready to take that leap, there’s no one else that I’d want to take that leap with. Lois, you’ve had a lot of questions about The Blur. It’s me. I’m The Blur.” Lois leaps across the room, into Clark’s arms, and they crash into a stack of files as tiny bits of paper flutter down around them. They kiss passionately and I cry, oh boy, do I cry. Lois: “What took you so long?” Clark is speechless that Lois already knew the truth, and they smile at each other beautifully. END CREDITS.

So there you have it! Another silly possession episode that was actually so much more. Oliver’s monologue about Chloe, Tess’s finally being accepted into the Justice League only to fear that she’ll betray them, Clark and Oliver working together like true super friends, Tess and Oliver healing their past, Tess becoming a mother to A(lex)ander and finally Clark revealing his secret to Lois! Every episode will have some significant revelations from now until the end, I suppose, and I can’t wait!

Thanks to Smallville Wiki and The CW for the links and pics!

Next time, on Smallville: “Harvest”! Scarecrow?! Little A(lex)ander is getting creepier—AND less little! Spooky Halloween episode! Check out the preview here. Check back here on Friday for a newsy preview post, and tune in next Tuesday for the recap of “Harvest”!

Episode 10.04 (#200, bishes!) “Homecoming” Airdate 10.15.10

Directed by Jeannot Szwarc, Written by Brian Peterson and Kelly Souders

Number of Drinking Game rules: 45

Wow. This recap is going to be fairly hard to write, because I’m so moved by this episode, I’m finding it difficult to revert to my typical snarky self. Written by Smallville executive producers Souders and Peterson, who have been around since the first season of the show, “Homecoming” beautifully combines nostalgia for Smallville’s beginning and breathless anticipation for what is to come. The episode is clearly a love letter to the longtime fans of the show, rewarding us for staying with Smallville for ten years of varying quality, changing times and networks and a fluctuating cast. I have loved Smallville through high points and low, but I have never loved it as much, nor been as proud to be a fan, as I was when watching “Homecoming.”

Previously, on Smallville: season one. season five. season nine. This season: “Lazarus.” “Shield.” “Supergirl.”

Kent barn. Clark broods over various magazines addressing the superhero craze. He looks at the book that once held the key before Kara and Jor-El decided he doesn’t deserve to visit the Fortress of Solitude anymore. Lois arrives and glances at the magazines decrying The Blur. Lois says she will stand behind The Blur no matter what the media says, because she believes in him. She exposits that The Blur has taken a sabbatical from public presence after all the criticism, and suggests that Clark go with her to the Smallville High 5-year reunion for some levity. Clark’s surprised Lois wants to attend as she was only enrolled in SHS for 23 days and showed up for exactly five of those (that’s my girl!), but Lois says it was one of the few times she felt she fit in somewhere. She tells Clark that even though they’re not dating, they should go together. After all, she says, “You put the Smallville in Smallville, Smallville.” Cute!

Smallville High. This is the only misstep in an otherwise flawless episode, in my opinion. I understand what they were trying to do—set up the audience for a Freak of the Week (FOTW) episode like so many Smallville episodes of yore, only to surprise us by this nod to A Christmas Carol instead. But it’s so different in tone from the rest of the episode, I think they could have simply skipped it. At any rate, a guidance counselor grumbles over the records of many previous FOTWs (including a picture of Mr. Marla’s crush Alicia Baker, played by Sarah Carter!) blaming Clark Kent for all of the counseling she’s had to do over the years. Yeah, being a guidance counselor to a bunch of meteor freaks at Smallville High would be a thankless job, to be sure. She prepares to stick a pin into a little Clark Kent voodoo doll (complete with tiny little Member’s Only jacket and tiny little Timberlands!) when Brainiac 5 (James Marsters) arrives, brain-zaps her and tells her to leave Clark Kent to him. duh duh DUUUUUUUUH! Credits.

Smallville High. Clark and Lois arrive and she geekily points out former classmates who have no idea who she is. Clark bumps into the guidance counselor who drops her books, and as Clark reaches down to help her collect them, he flashes back to the pilot when he bumped into Lana and had a similar booktastrophe. In the flashback, Lana references Nietzsche’s Ubermensch theory that Carter Hall also referenced in “Shield” this season. Clark checks back into The Now just in time for Ms. Formerly Stabby Guidance Counselor to give him a huge, perky hug. Effective brain-zapping, Brainiac! Season One FOTW Greg Arkin/Bugboy (Chad Donella) pulls up in a car with the license plate “RAKNID” because some things never change. Lois and Clark enter the high school and a little hussy named Suzanne hard-core hits on Clark with Lois standing right there. Lois is affronted that no one remembers her, and then things get hella awkward when Lois picks up Lana’s nametag and says, “Wow. Old flames, huh?” Smooth, Lo. Lois remembers that she hasn’t seen Lana since Lana totally cock-blocked her in ”Bride,” and Clark assures her that Lana won’t be attending the reunion. We’re all relieved to hear that, as Lana has this little tendency we like to call Making It All About Her. (drink!)

Clark sees Chloe’s badge (*sniff*) and smiles sweetly as he heads into the Torch offices where the Wall of Once Weird remains, sad and empty. Clark flashes back to the pilot once again as Chloe unveils the Wall of Weird to him, and OMG Season One Allison Mack is so precious and teeny-tiny, I can barely stand it! Lois enters and apologizes for taking Clark on this stroll down memory lane. Don’t apologize! Flashbacks are AWESOME! Two adorable little high-schoolers enter and geek out at seeing friends of the legendary Chloe. They’re the new heads of the Torch and they’ve taken viral the legacy of Chloe’s Wall of Weird. They suspect conspiracy as the reason she’s no longer a hotshot reporter at the Daily Planet (sigh) and that she’s disappeared. They recognize Lois as one of Oliver Queen’s ex-ladyfriends and ask her what it was like to date a superhero. Lois stammers, “It was really quick, just a flash.” She looks at Clark, “But I would date one again in a second!” Aww. The little Torchers pass on their theory that The Blur is from Smallville and that Chloe must have known him. These kids are good! Clark grumbles that The Blur is gone and not coming back, and Lois smooths things over to the crestfallen Torchers, telling them it’s wonderful that The Blur is inspiring a new generation. The Torchers tell Clark that they’re glad The Blur isn’t there to steal his thunder, and Clark is all: whaaa?

This leads to my favorite transition EVER as a crowned Clark slouches on a throne with a face that can only be described as grouchily bemused. Lois is beaming next to him, proud that her date was star quarterback his senior year. Clark’s eyes alight on Greg Arkin and he stares at him suspiciously as time suddenly freezes in a beautiful shot, with only the floating balloons in motion, and a rather dashing Brainiac enters the gym. Clark, again, is all: whaaaa? and Brainiac apologizes for interrupting the coronation. He tells Clark: “I wanted to slow things down. Make sure you can soak in this special moment.” Clark neglects the fact that he’s homecoming king and his gorgeous date is queen when he grumps: “And what’s so special about this moment?” Brainiac, dramatically: “This is the moment that your life changes forever.” Time resumes and Lois sees that the throne next to hers is empty. She sighs.

Random creepy woods. Brainiac has zapped them there using the Legion ring. Brainiac explains that he has been re-programmed as a member of The Legion and is no longer quite so villainous. Man, was he always this hot? Ah-hem. Focusing now! Brainiac tells Clark he’s here to prevent Clark from turning to the darkness that took root in him the day that his Earth father Jonathan Kent died. Brainiac uses a very cool visual transition to show Clark the day of Jonathan’s funeral, as Clark grieves in the snow looking very, very tall. Brainiac tells Clark that he allowed himself to become vulnerable to corruption when he blamed himself for Jonathan’s death. He shows Clark a scene that only the audience has witnessed before now: Jonathan’s wrath as he wails on Lionel in the barn the night of his election, bringing on Jonathan’s heart attack. Brainiac echoes one of Jonathan’s favorite platitudes: “We always have a choice, Kal-El,” and Jonathan’s choice brought on his own death.

Oliver’s office in Metropolis. Clark realizes that Brainiac has brought him to a scene in the present, and he must be the hottest incarnation of Ebenezer Scrooge yet. (Although not the funniest. That honor goes to one Mr. Bill Murray.) Oliver watches news programs reporting on his coming out as Green Arrow, dismayed that the news is all negative. He asks his assistant if he’s had any calls, and she tells him there’s still no word from Mr. Kent. God, Clark, you are THE WORST FRIEND EVER. Ollie hasn’t even HEARD from you since he announced himself as Green Arrow? I must say, if one of the side effects of this A Smallville Carol journey is that Clark becomes a better friend, the show will improve immensely. I’m tired of rooting for a superhero who’s kind of a butthead! Anyway! Clark is duly chagrined, and Brainiac reminds him that as long as Clark dwells in the darkness of his past, he punishes himself and all of the people he cares about and will never be able to embrace…THE FUTURE!

No wait, sorry, still the present. Clark and Brainiac witness a sad and awkward Lois, left by Clark at a dance in the Smallville High gym, just like her cousin not so long ago. Well, ten years ago. Oh and the Lifehouse song from S1 is playing! A super-nosy punchbowl lady is delighted that Lois is there with Clark Kent. (An aside: I am reminded of having attended my husband’s 10-year reunion, where someone from his high school asked me whose date I was. I told her, “[Mr. Marla],” and she replied in a highly impressed tone, “Well done!” It was awesome.) Punch Bowl Lady is far less supportive, and asks why Lois and Clark aren’t married or even technically dating, then shakes her head in disappointment. She questions whether Clark really loves Lois (wtf, Punch Bowl Lady, SHUT UP!) and then starts talking about how perfect Clark and Lana were together in high school. Although I do not concur for many, many reasons, they did make quite an attractive couple. You just KNOW everyone at that high school was totally obsessed with them.

But back to the far more significant and suitable woman in Clark’s life: Lois is crushed. Clark says he’s only ever tried to protect Lois after the whole Lana debacle, and Brainiac essentially tells him, “Yeah, bang up job of that, chump.” Greg Arkin approaches Lois and tells her he has a message for Clark Kent. Clark rushes to keep Bugboy from harming Lois, Brainiac goes to stop him, and Clark touches the Legion ring in the scuffle. AND THEN THINGS GET AMAZING.

WELCOME TO THE WOOOORLD OF TOMORROOOOW! Daily Planet. According to a newspaper with the headline “Superman Saves the Day,” it is October 15, 2017, seven years to the day after the premiere of “Homecoming.” And Jimmy Olsen has a photo credit! No, not that Jimmy Olsen, more’s the pity. Clark bumps into Future Lois, who thankfully looks a lot less like Sarah Palin than she did in the S9 finale’s version of the future. She talks a mile a minute, pushing Clark into the Planet phone booth (squee!) to put a spare pair of glasses on him so he won’t blow his cover. She reminds him that the glasses were his idea and he needs to stick with it because it’s working. She rushes off, arguing with Perry on the phone (yay!), and Clark exits the phone booth as one looky-loo says to another, “See, I told you it wasn’t him.” HIM!!!! Superman!!! Because Clark wasn’t wearing his glasses before he went into the phone booth, and he came out fully disguised by a simple pair of horn rim frames!!! I love it when Smallville embraces the Superman mythology, and there is no episode that does so as enthusiastically as “Homecoming.”

Clark heads to his basement desk only to be intercepted by Intern Jeff, who reminds Clark that he hasn’t worked in the basement for at least seven years. Lois takes Clark by the arm and directs him up to their seriously posh 8th floor office. Well played, kiddos! Lois peers into Clark’s eyes, trying to figure out why he’s acting so clueless, and he’s stunned as she says, “Oh no. Kryptonite again?” She peels back his eyelids and tries to determine, “Blue? Red? Not green. PLEASE tell me it’s not the black, because that was a disaster.” HAH! Clark can’t seem to believe that Lois knows such detail about his secret identity, and as he asks her about the Legion ring, she replies, “Is that a joke, Clark? Touch it once, shame on you. Touch it twice, shame on me.” Awesome! Lois has totally touched the Legion ring twice! She worries that she’s forgotten their anniversary, the day that Clark finally shared his secret with her. Awwww! “No, it’s not until…see?” and she shows him her planner. WHEN?! According to the scenes from “Isis,” it’s next week! We’ll see about that.

Lois ushers him down to the elevator, telling him they need to be on opposite sides of town in ten minutes. She tells him if he’s looking for the Legion ring, to check his “trunk of tchotchkes  at the farm” and uses a hilarious and adorable gesture to remind him to put on his glasses.  God, this is so cute, I CAN’T EVEN STAND IT! But I need to simmer down, because the best part is still to come! As the elevator door opens and Clark enters it, Lois swats his butt cutely. The door closes as a deep voice says, “She’s a handful, isn’t she? You’re right on time.” Clark looks over to see HIMSELF and…commercials!

HOLY. CRAP. Tom Welling IS Clark Kent in this elevator! I know, I know, he’s been playing Clark Kent since 2001, but I mean he is THE Clark Kent here. The glasses, the hair, the posture. It’s amazing what a difference some hair product makes in helping Tom Welling look like a grown up! Now Clark tells Future Clark, “You knew I’d be here?” Future Clark drily responds, “Time travel. Think it through.” Now Clark marvels, “Because you were me when I went through this, and I’m…” Future Clark: “Well done, my man.” His delivery is deliciously droll here! Now Clark wonders how he became so uptight and nerdy (I think you mean uptight and HOT, mister), and Future Clark tells him there’s no time for that. He needs Now Clark on the roof to save Lois while Future Clark deals with a dangerous nuclear reactor on the other side of town. Future Clark: “Roof. Now.” red and blue whoooooosh. I saw a cape!! Now Clark: “That’s what I become?”

Roof. Lois sends a distress signal as the Daily Planet helicopter swerves out of control. Clark grabs the helicopter and gently guides it back to the ground, and Lois peers out of the window, smiling at her hero. She makes the adorable “glasses, dude!” gesture as she mouths “What are you doing?” then elbows the pilot in the face, knocking him unconscious in order to protect Clark’s identity. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: that’s my girl! She and Clark share a passionate kiss as she tells him she’d do anything for him, and then she scurries off, reminding him about their dinner reservations that night. BEST COUPLE EVER. Brainiac arrives and tells Clark that now that he’s seen his future, he can embrace it instead of fearing it, because it’s utterly delightful! Clark tells him that this is all he’s ever wanted, and we see true hope light in his eyes for the first time in a very long while.

Reunion. Clark and Brainiac have returned in time for Greg Arkin’s message to Lois: that Clark Kent helped so many people at their high school, and Greg wants to thank him. Lois muses that that’s just the kind of guy he is, and Brainiac marvels at how special Lois is. Clark agrees, glad that Brainiac has shown him how truly fortunate he is to have Lois in his life. Brainiac goes to take his leave (no! don’t go, James Marsters!), but tells Clark first, “A hero is made in the moment, not from questioning the past or fearing what’s to come. Just remember that, Kal-El.” Clark walks forward and asks Lois to dance as the same Lifehouse song plays (which is eerie, because I always think of that as a Lana song. BECAUSE IT SUCKS. Just kidding. It does suck, though). Just as they begin to dance, the music stops and the reunion is over. Lois and Clark are both disappointed.

Smallville cemetery. Clark, clad in his sweet-ass new El-shield leather jacket with his sweet-ass new aerodynamic hair, says goodbye to Jonathan and to the pain and darkness he’s been holding onto for so long. He buries Jonathan’s watch, *sniff*, promising that he will become the man Jonathan always knew he could be. You guys! CLARK! Is moving on! FINALLY!

Queen office. Oliver is being grilled by a super bitchy reporter who thinks he’s an egomaniac for taking on the Green Arrow mantle. She taunts him as a bored billionaire with nothing better to do.  Oliver looks distraught and lost, until he glances up and sees Clark standing tall in the doorway. Clark nods supportively at him, giving him a proud smile, and Oliver suddenly nuts up, looking the reporter in the eye and speaking strongly: ”I’ve lost someone. She meant everything to me.” Bitchy reporter: “So for that you want, what? A merit badge and special rights?” Oliver: “No, you’re right. I’m not special. This isn’t about who I am. It’s about what I do. And I don’t think I am the first rich boy who felt that way. It was John F. Kennedy who once said ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” Bitchy reporter can’t believe he’s comparing himself to a fallen hero of the nation, and Oliver LAYS THE SMACK DOWN: “Well, why not? He saw the hero in all of us. I’m not dwelling on revenge for past atrocities, or looking ahead to what I can personally gain from a few tax breaks, drilling oil wells in the ocean, putting up razor-wired fences to keep out immigrants who only want what our grandparents wanted. In this world of armchair bloggers who’ve created a generation of critics instead of leaders, I’m actually doing something. Right here, right now. For the city. For my country. And I’m not doing it alone. You’re damn right I’m a hero.” GOOSEBUMPS, PEOPLE! He and Clark look at each other and smile, and my heart soars. Super friends!

Aww! The little Chloe-obsessed Torchers sit awestruck in the Torch, reading a message on one of their phones: “Glad to see you’re carrying my Torch. -CS.” I LOVE that they managed to squeeze an important Chloe moment into this jam-packed episode, despite Allison Mack’s absence. The Torch was EVERYTHING to that girl for four years, and I absolutely believe that she’d follow up on its success.

And wow. I’m genuinely choking up just thinking about this scene, one of the most beautiful, moving and significant in Smallville history. Lois walks into the Kent barn, which Clark has embellished with a disco ball and music. He apologizes to Lois for abandoning her at the dance and tells her he wants to make it up to her. Lois says, “You don’t have to worry about me, Clark,” obviously thinking that his destiny is so great that her feelings shouldn’t factor into it. She begins her patented Lois Lane rambling until Clark says, “Lois?” and she says, cutely, “Be quiet?” He smiles at her, and they begin to dance. He steps on her feet, because we all know dancing isn’t one of Clark’s super powers, and Lois steps back awkwardly, almost giving up on the moment. Clark is so sweet in this scene despite Lois’s discomfort, and he tells her to step up onto his feet to dance. Lois knows this can’t hurt Clark, so she settles into the dance, resting her cheek on his broad shoulder. They sway for a few moments until Clark murmurs, ”I love you.” Lois’s face lights up beautifully as she tells him she loves him, too. They close their eyes and continue to dance, and the camera pulls back slowly to reveal that Lois and Clark are floating three feet off the ground. Credits.

And that, my friends, is the best episode Smallville has ever aired. The scenes from the past and the future were a wonderfully fun gift to the fans, but the episode had so much more to offer than fun. After last week’s episode, I was convinced that we would spend another season watching a weak-spirited and conflicted Clark chase his demons and push away the people who mean the most to him. Brainiac 5 arrived just in time to show Clark that all he’s ever needed to do is make the decision to walk away from the darkness in his past in order to embrace the brightest future possible. And we were able to see that, as Carter Hall posited in “Shield,” Lois is precisely the person who can help him do it. After nine years of failed flying attempts, the love he and Lois share finally lifts those size 14 feet off the ground. That is HUGE! We also see that Clark will value his friendships with Chloe (whose presence they’ve managed to maintain on the show in a big way without Allison Mack’s appearance) and Oliver in the way that they deserve. With “Homecoming,” Smallville didn’t just show us what Clark can be when he is at his best. It showed us what Smallville can be when it’s at its best. And that is something marvelous.

Thanks to the Smallville Wiki and The CW for the links and pics! Don’t forget to read my recaps of the previous episodes this season, “Lazarus,” “Shield” and “Supergirl,” as well as my recap and episode guide for all of Season 9!

Next week: “Isis”! Clark decides to tell Lois his secret (uhm, she knows, dude.) but he’s distracted when she’s possessed by the DC superhero Isis! Sooooo much possession on this show. Also Tess’s little A(Lex)ander clone is growing up scary-fast. As the preview promises: “OBSESSION! POSSESSION!” Check it out here:

and a preview clip:

Stop by Watchtower on Friday for another scoopy preview post, and tune in here on Monday for my “Isis” recap!

Sorry for the delay, but I just can’t bring myself to rush the recap of such a significant milestone! Tune back in tomorrow for the recap of Smallville’s EPIC 200th episode, “Homecoming!”

I cannot! Even tell you! How excited I am! About this episode!

But I don’t have to, do I? We’re all in this together! Smallville‘s 200th episode premieres tonight, and it’s going to be HUGE. HUUUUUUUGE! Check out the preview here:

and enjoy this hilariously awkward clip:

Lois and Clark return to Smallville High for their 5-year reunion! James Marsters returns as Brainiac 5! Clark sees his past (Lana! Chloe!) and his future (SUPERMAN, YO)! Smallville‘s 100th episode “Reckoning” includes a proposal, a death, several near deaths and time travel. It looks like TPTB are ready to top even that with “Homecoming.”

So let’s dig in to all the scoop we can find to prepare for this awesome event:

Newsarama gives us a sneak peek at tonight’s episode as well as a super juicy interview with EPs Kelly Souders and Brian Peterson.

TV Guide’s got a glimpse of next week’s episode “Isis” with Lois Lane taking on the DC superhero.

As usual, KryptonSite’s got TONS of good stuff in anticipation of tonight’s episode: an interview with pilot director David Nutter, an interview with Allison Mack (Chloe Sullivan), interviews with show founder Al Gough, Cassidy Freeman (Tess Mercer), and WB TV president Peter Roth, as well as promo trailer screencaps for “Homecoming,” and my personal favorite, a list of 200 moments that have made Smallville great in honor of its 200th episode!

There’s a lovely interview with exec producers Peterson and Souders about tonight’s episode here. You can find another feature on tonight’s milestone at the link, and this piece reveals secrets from the set of tonight’s episode. By the way, Smallville‘s been doing very well in the ratings this season!

Tom Welling talks about Darkseid’s arc at the link. And here he discusses the 200th episode, Lex Luthor and more Darkseid!

Ahh, this blogger writes an open letter to Michael Rosenbaum. May I just say? WHAT SHE SAID.

Okay WOW. This blogger writes a post about Smallville‘s undervalued fans, and as someone who has watched the show since the first season and even started a blog devoted to it amidst laughter and derision from my other adult friends, it’s really hit home.  And then I discovered his ranking of *every* episode of Smallville (through Season 9), and I cannot believe how entirely I agree with him on every point! We love and hate the exact same tropes on the show! We appreciate it even when it’s terrible! Again, may I just add? WHAT HE SAID. Definitely check it out.

As always, head over to KryptonSite and follow sv_awareness on Twitter for all the Smallville news you can handle. Need to catch up before the big ep? You can read my recaps for last season and the first three eps of this season, “Lazarus,” “Shield” and “Supergirl.” Refresh yourself on the Drinking Game rules and don’t forget to tune into The CW tonight at 8/7c for the premiere of “Homecoming!”

Episode 10.03 “Supergirl” Airdate 10.8.10

Directed by Mairzee Almas, Written by Anne Cofell Saunders

Number of Drinking Game rules: 14. Not even a full beer!

A pretty good ep with some serious developments when it comes to Darkseid, Oliver, Clois, and Clark’s journey. It certainly had some of that early-Smallville trashiness (fetish Lois, what the what?), but I still dug it. And I have to say, Laura Vandervoort (Kara Kent) has significantly improved. She looks great and didn’t annoy me once, versus the EVERY EPISODE in which she annoyed me during Season 7!

Previously, on Smallville: Season 9 recap. Episode 10.01 recap. Episode 10.02 recap.

“Three Weeks Ago.” Darkseid forms into a swirly, raven-y mass out of the consul at the crow’s nest. In a radio studio, Cat Grant‘s favorite shock jock Gordon Godfrey (played beautifully by voice pro Michael Daingerfield) talks a bunch of smack about “illegal aliens” because he is into all kinds of pissing me off. Darkseid swoops into the window and jumps into his eyeballs. POSSESSED! That should totally be a drinking game rule on this show.

“Today.” Godfrey gives a press conference promoting his new book, which has a crossed out El shield on the cover. He rails against vigilantes and just generally blathers about. Clark stands in the press section looking moody; everyone else seems highly approving of the message. Lois appears and gives him the eyes; Clark is overjoyed to see her. They share a passionate hug that quickly turns awkward. Clark is surprised that Lois is back from Africa so quickly and that she left so quickly in the first place: “I figured something must have happened.” Lois retorts, “You mean something like ‘Go to Africa, Lois’?” Burn! Clark maintains that he never wanted her to leave, and they smilingly agree that they’re still partners. These two are melting my screen with their boiling hot chemistry! Lois tells Clark that Cat Grant is on assignment in Alaska, so she has her desk back. Godfrey continues to babble, finally getting Lois where it hurts by saying that The Blur is deformed, and she’s all OH NO HE DIN’T! “Break out the marshmallows, Clark; I’m gonna roast this turkey.” Have I mentioned lately that I love her? But before Lois gets to roasting, Godfrey unveils his anti-hero billboard, which breaks and almost falls onto the crowd. As Clark whooshes forward to save the day, he’s pre-empted by a costumed Kara Kent, who holds the billboard in one hand as she floats casually above the crowd like it ain’t no thing. She winks saucily at Clark and Lois, as Lois mutters, “Isn’t that your cousin, Clark?” CREDITS.

Daily Planet. Lois scoffs at a “Maiden of Might” headline regarding Kara’s save. She throws Clark a bone, “assuming” that he never knew about Kara’s powers and that she must have gained them through meteor rock (Kryptonite) exposure. Clark’s all: “Uhm, YES. With the meteors and the whatnot. That’s it!” Lois disapproves of Kara’s decision to come out as a superhero, although Clark suggests that The Blur should do just that, as Kara won over the crowd by stepping into the light. Lois thinks this is a terrible idea because the public has turned against superheroes, calling them “mutant vigilantes.” She also calls Kara “Ubergirl” which is uberclever. She tells Clark that Kara is risking her own safety as well as that of anyone close to her.

Random rooftop. Kara poses for a cheesy photographer in various heroic stances. Girlfriend has abs like woah, as an aside. Kara pauses the shoot when Clark arrives, and they hug sweetly, but quickly turn to arguing as those Els are wont to do. Kara tells Clark she never found her mother and so Clark is her only family; Clark then wants to know why the hell she’s showing her face up and down the block, putting his identity at risk. Kara reluctantly explains that Jor-El has sent her on a mission, and building a positive public image is part of it. She says she’s doing it for Clark, which, hah. She is trying to draw attention to herself so Darkseid goes after her instead of The Blur. Jor-El doesn’t think Clark is strong enough to fight Darkseid (who, by the way, is never called by name in this episode. Clark and Kara only refer to him as “the darkness” or “the dark force,” but Darkseid is way catchier, so that’s what I’m going with). Kara tells Clark that Jor-El thinks Darkseid will use him as a tool to destroy the planet. She basically tells him, Oh and just FYI, Jor-El’s disowned you as his son, la di dah. WORST. FATHER. EVER.

Pretty church. Godfrey gets up with the praying, because that’s what good, God-fearing, American patriots do. Lois totally ambushes him for a quote in the middle of his worship time, which even I know is uncool. She tells him she’s done allowing him to attack the heroes of Metropolis, and he tells her he’s investigating Kara and all the other masked vigilantes. Lois reminds him that she happens to be fairly adept at investigating herself, and threatens to dig into his own past. Godfrey maintains that he has nothing to hide (famous last words, dude!), but that a certain hard-partying, archery-obsessed, billionaire superhero/ex-boyfriend of hers might.

Queen loft. HOLY GOD OLIVER IS SHIRTLESS AND I CAN’T FIND A PICTURE OF IT ANYWHERE. Homeboy has got one flawless physique. And those Jesus/Tyler Durden muscles? I LOVE THOSE. Ah-hem. Anyhoo. Oliver’s practicing martial arts, reminiscing about Chloe and making me swoon. He remembers their first kiss, after he gave her an archery lesson in ep 9.13 ”Warrior.” LE SIGH. Lois enters and manages to not completely pass out at seeing her gorgeous ex-boyfriend so scantily clad and glistening. I guess when your new boyfriend is a Superman who looks like Tom Welling, things fall into perspective. Oliver calls Lois “Little Miss Cut and Run” (heh) and schools her for running out on Clark when things got difficult. Lois defends herself somewhat and then changes the subject, warning Oliver about Godfrey’s threat. Oliver’s surprisingly unperturbed, saying that people deserve to know the truth and he’s tired of keeping this secret. Lois tells Oliver that she’ll go after Godfrey if he won’t.

Limo. Godfrey is joined by his plucky publicist (played by Devon Weigel), who asks about the secret final chapter of his book (revealing Oliver’s identity). He tells her that not even she can read it and that he’s keeping the only copy on a flash drive in his pocket so as to avoid leaks. Plucky Publicist is thrilled that Godfrey’s popularity is soaring, and Godfrey’s voice goes all Darkseidy as he tells her she needs to help him do more, as he wants to reach every person on the planet so as to eventually rule them all. “Humans are the best architects of their own undoing.  All you have to do is give them enough rope and they’ll eventually hang themselves.” Plucky Publicist is nonplussed, but thinks Godfrey just needs a night off. Sure, sister. She exits the limo and Godfrey looks at a brochure for a fetish club and tells the limo driver, “Take me to Club Desaad.” (Desaad is one of Darkseid’s minions from Apokolips in the comics.) The limo driver looks around (for some reason, since she’s allegedly NOT trying to show her face to Godfrey), and my stars! It’s Lois Lane in a jaunty little driver’s cap!

Kent barn. Clark reaches for the key (Yay! I have one of those!) so he can transport himself to the Fortress of Solitude and pout at Jor-El some more, but Kara’s already yoinked it. Clark tells Kara that he’s pissed that Jor-El doesn’t trust him, and Kara explains that Darkseid is a powerful force that Clark can’t even begin to understand. He can exploit the weakness in any person and she and Jor-El are understandably concerned that he’ll exploit that weakness that’s all up in Clark’s situation. Clark says he can handle anything, and Kara’s all: Big talk from the boy who can’t fly! Clark acknowledges that this is a fair point, and asks Kara to help him learn to fly. Again. Some more.

Chandler’s Field! YAY! Clark and Kara are atop Lana’s favorite windmill, and Clark whines that flying must be so easy for Kara. Kara tells him, “It’s not easy or hard. It just is.” This scene is simply breathtaking, bee-tee-dubs. Kara tells Clark to drown out all noise and focus solely on the sound of a nearby butterfly’s wings beating, then take to the sky. Clark manages to do just that, soaring grandly until all of a sudden…he’s not anymore. CRASH, right through the poor, frequently besieged Kent barn’s roof. Kara whooshes in after him and tells him that she made a mistake; she should have listened to Jor-El instead of trying to help Clark, because he doubts his powers and can’t focus and will never be able to fight Darkseid that way. She tells him that Darkseid came through a rip in the universe three weeks ago, and Clark’s all: hey! I made a rip in the universe exactly three weeks ago!

Crow’s nest. Clark shows Kara the consul and explains about the Book of Rao and the portal he opened in the S9 finale to send the Kandorians to someplace that is else. Kara muses that she probably can use her El bracelet to open a similar portal to send Darkseid to some other place that is else. She tells Clark that Darkseid can find the tiniest seed of doubt in the strongest person and use it to rule that person. Darkseid can’t possess someone who is pure of spirit and intent, however. So, in other words, not Clark. She reminds Clark, “If this darkness possesses someone with abilities [drink!] like yours, you could be the greatest weapon this planet has ever seen.” Clark just shrugs like it’s no big d. Moron. Sorry, I love the guy, BUT SERIOUSLY.

Wow. This next scene just killed me, you guys. Oliver is in a church, speaking to a picture of his parents. Justin Hartley is so emotional and moving here. He tells his parents that he’s been trying to live his life in a way that would make them proud, but he worries he’s let them down. “The woman that I love, she sacrificed everything to protect me. And I’m sort of trying to figure out how to live with that. I can’t have others risking their lives to protect my secret.  This has to stop. I’m sorry.” SOB! ACTING!

Oh jeezy chreezy. Get ready to cringe your face off! And yet, I’m not gonna lie, this scene’s pretty funny. Lois follows Godfrey into Club Desaad and ”disguises” herself by changing into typical dominatrix wear. Lois has worn more leather on this show than Clark has worn plaid. Godfrey is too horny to notice that SHE’S TOTALLY LOIS LANE, and he allows her to separate him from the crowd as Lois makes some embarrassingly inept bondage attempts. Godfrey doesn’t seem to notice that she’s terrible at this: “What’s your favorite tool?” “I’m pretty good with a torque wrench.” Hilarity! She calls over a couple of real dominatrices and surreptitiously takes photos while they writhe all over him. She dismisses the ladies and purrs “Gotcha” at Godfrey, removing her mask. He’s all: my stars! It’s Lois Lane! and calls her a “formidable woman,” which, word. He offers to give her the Oliver headline in exchange for the photos, but she’s already sent them off into the world via her phone. Godfrey’s voice goes all Darkseidy again: “I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE PHOTOS, LOIS.” He breaks his cuffs and easily dispatches of Lois despite her handy taser. He says he can tell she’s pure of spirit (that’s my girl!), which is too bad because “taking over that body would’ve been fun.” He still knocks her unconscious, though, as his eyes turn black.

Watchtower (holla!). Kara’s impressed by the Justice League headquarters and the fact that there IS a Justice League. She says that a lot has changed in the last couple of years (it really has!) and that Jor-El may have underestimated Clark. Hell yeah he did! Sort of. Clark uses the Watchtower network to somehow instantaneously discover that Gordon Godfrey is possessed by Darkseid, and then instantaneously discover that Godfrey and Lois are at Club Desaad. That seriously took 15 seconds. Solid sleuthing, Kent!

Club Desaad. Oh yikes. This is pretty disturbing. Godfrey/Darkseid, henceforth known as Godseid, has Lois tied up, gagged and hanging from red scarves in some bondage lair deep within the club. He talks a bunch of scary shit as she whimpers.

Kara and Clark whoosh into the club and look around. Kara asks, “What is this place?” and Clark uncomfortably mutters, “It’s kind of hard to explain.” Hah! They split up to find Lois. Clark finds her and Godseid first, and he VERY UNWISELY engages Godseid in a battle EVEN THOUGH HE TOTALLY KNOWS THAT DARKSEID COULD OVERPOWER HIM AND USE HIM AS A TOOL TO DESTROY THE ENTIRE PLANET. I want to be very, very clear here. Clark fucked up HARD this week. Godseid tells Clark that Lois has served her purpose: “She brought one of you to me.” Clark talks big, and Godseid retorts, “Are you sure you can win against me? You know what I am. You know the doubt in your heart. You so-called heroes are false gods, all of you. And when people stop believing in you, you’ll shatter like glass.” He sniffs out Clark’s weakness immediately, just as Kara said he would: “Under all that bravado, you’re afraid you’ll never be the hero you want to be.” He knows that Clark wants to kill Godseid and that he has wanted to kill before. “There is darkness in you, and great power. I think we’ll go far together, you and I.” He turns all smoky/raven-y again and begins to enter Clark (dirty!), when Kara whooshes in, not a moment too soon, and uses her bracelet to repel Darkseid. Clark whooshes to untie Lois and gently set her on the ground, whooshing away before she sees him. Kara remains behind to help Lois up. Poor Lois is traumatized: “I think it’s time to blow this bondage ball.”

Outside Club Desaad. Lois marvels that “Mr. Family Values had such a dark side.” No, DarkSEID. Kara says that everyone has two sides, including superheroes. Lois asks Kara, off the record, what it’s like having powers. Kara tells her she feels incredibly free. Lois broods that superheroes must feel that normal people are less than they are: “Maybe it’s easier being a hero when you don’t have someone tying you down.” Kara smiles and tells her that even heroes need someone to come home to; this is the answer Lois was hoping to receive. She smiles hopefully. It’s adorable!

Daily Planet. Lois shows Clark the Inquisitor front page with her photo of Godfrey letting his freak flag fly at Club Desaad. She passed on the story as she didn’t figure S&M was classy enough for the Planet front page. Clark tells Lois she put herself into far too much danger trying to discredit Godfrey, and Lois admits that she was terrified, but says that her “worst fear is to be alone in a world without heroes.” Clark tells her that superheroes aren’t perfect and shouldn’t be put on a pedestal, and Lois admits that she knows heroes are people, too. “They wrestle with their own flaws. But The Blur is different—he’s my hero.  Whatever he’s afraid of, I know he’ll always be there for me.” She walks away and Clark looks conflicted and doubtful; the camera pulls back to reveal a painting of Atlas on the wall behind him. Poor Clark. Big dumb alien.

Outside the Planet. Clark runs into Kara who is in full Linda Lee Danvers drag. She tells him she’s decided to disguise herself because she can’t save anyone while being the center of attention. She tells Clark she’s not going anywhere until she’s sure that Earth is safe from Darkseid; her bracelet only repelled him rather than banishing him through a portal. Clark wonders why Darkseid didn’t possess Kara when it was ready to possess him, then has a duh! moment as he realizes it’s because she’s pure of spirit and he’s totally not. He bitches about being a big old failure, and Kara tells him that everyone fails sometimes, but overcoming one’s failures is what matters. Y’know, rather than bitching about it. She reminds Clark that if Darkseid had possessed him, with all of Clark’s powers, the planet as we know it would have been doomed. She tells him, “Leave the darkness to me. This isn’t your fight.” She leaves and a random, handy passerby pops up just to say that people have too much faith in the heroes. Gee thanks, random passerby!

Queen loft. Lois arrives and hands Godfrey’s flash drive to Oliver, bragging that she nicked it out of Godfrey’s pocket. She omits the part where she almost died wearing head-to-toe leather in order to protect Oliver’s identity, so Oliver does not appear duly impressed. She chides him for his nonchalance and he thanks her sincerely, but tells her that he intends to fight his own battles from now on. Lois JUST NOW discovers that HER COUSIN Chloe is missing, because she is the worst cousin ever and also Clark is the worst boyfriend ever. Lois thinks Chloe will be back because she’s crazy about Oliver, and Oliver hopes she’s right. He tells her he’s been keeping his secret for long enough, and he calls in some press people. As they enter, he gives a short speech saying that the press has been unfairly judging the masked heroes. In a total shout-out to Iron Man, the episode ends with Oliver’s solemn proclamation: “I am Green Arrow.” END CREDITS!

Okay, and I just have to add this. The final showdown of Clark vs. Darkseid had better be JUST LIKE THIS. Please to enjoy the bad-assery. It’ll make you feel a lot better about Clark’s humiliation this week.

“What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose.” HELL! YES!

Thanks to Smallville Wiki and The CW for the photos and links!

Next week! Smallville‘s TWO HUNDREDTH episode! Clark and Lois go back to The Talon for Smallville High’s 5-year reunion! Lana and Chloe return in flashback form! (Maybe Lex and Pete, too? And surely Jonathan and Martha!) Brainiac 5.0 (James Marsters, WHEE!) shows Clark his past and his future! MARLA UTTERLY GEEKS OUT! You don’t want to miss it! So check back here on Friday for my scoopy preview link drop, and next Monday I’ll post the recap to “Homecoming”! Check out the trailer for next week’s episode here and GEEK OUT WITH ME!

Read this interview and this interview with Laura Vandervoort (Kara Kent/Supergirl) and check out the preview for “Supergirl” to geek out even more for tomorrow night’s episode!

Okay, so obvs the big news in the kryptoverse is that Zack Snyder is directing Superman. According to this article, the fanpersons want Snyder to cast Tom Welling, and everyone else wants Jon Hamm. Well although I am an avowed fanperson, I’ve got to say I’m on Team Hamm. (HAH!) Mostly because I can’t stand the idea of Tom playing some other universe’s Superman. He’s Smallville‘s Superman! Also, Jon Hamm LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE SUPERMAN.

Holy crap, my friends. Granny Goodness has been cast!

Aww, our little fish stick’s all grow’d up! Arthur Curry/Aquman (Alan Ritchson) is getting hitched this season to…Queen  Mera! The newcomer will be played by Elena Satine.

le sigh. Allison Mack (Chloe) and Justin Hartley (Oliver) give us insight to what’s in store for my fave lurvers this season. And Watch With Kristen gives us a little more Chlollie goodness. Also Justin Hartley talks about Oliver’s reaction to Chloe’s disappearance and Green Arrow’s coming out party!

Exec Producers Brian Peterson and Kelly Souders give us a very intriguing sneak peek into the 200th episode “Homecoming.” MAN OH MAN I am looking forward to this ep! Quit teasing us, yo! And in a bit of Smallville-adjacent scoop, Souders and Peterson are already looking forward to next season with potential new CBS drama The Last Hope.

Tom Welling gives a great little interview about what’s to come and what it’s like on the Smallville set.

Ausiello has some 200th ep news and tells us when Clark and Lois will reveal their respective secrets to one another–in the same episode!

That’s it for now, fellas! As always, you can follow sv_awareness on Twitter and check out Kryptonsite for news and images of our favorite show. Read my recaps of the first two episodes of this season, “Lazarus” and “Shield,” as well as my recap of every episode last season. Don’t forget to tune in for “Supergirl” on The CW tomorrow (Fri) at 8/7c, play the drinking game, and stop by next Tuesday for my recap! (I’m on vacation on Monday, but I’ll be back to the usual sched next week.) See you then!

Episode 10.02 “Shield” Airdate 10.1.10

Directed by Glen Winter, Written by Jordan Hawley 

Number of Drinking Game rules: 33

Fun ep–although there wasn’t much in the way of plot development, loads of stuff was set up for later in the season, and we received plenty of character development for Clark, Oliver, Tess and Lois. And man oh MAN Tom Welling is still acting his ass off! He WANTS IT this season. Get it!

Justin Hartley’s voice tells us: “Previously, on Smallville:” last week. And also Absolute Justice.

Cold open: Africa. Lois bitches on the phone to Perry White about the lack of cushiness in her current assignment, because she is super profesh. She strolls into an archaelogical tent, nosing around, when Carter Hall/Hawkman enters, looking hella hot in typical desert wear. He tells her, “You never know what fate has in store for you.”

Daily Planet. Clark urgently tries to reach Chloe on the phone, wigging about the “dark force” Jor-El warned him about last week. Yeah, good luck with that, buddy. Both with Darkseid AND with trying to find Chloe. A random passes Clark a newspaper with an article about Lois’s transfer to the foreign desk in Kenya, and Clark moons about, finally deciding to print a ticket to Africa. He walks up to Lois’s desk and is taken aback to meet her perky, cookie-baking new replacement, Cat Grant. Cat tells him, “No relation to that woman on TV, although I get that a lot.” (That’s actually a rather clever reference to explain away last season’s Catherine Grant to observant nitpicky viewers like yours truly.) Cat manages to instantly piss off Clark by simultaneously insulting all masked heroes, parroting the views of her favorite DJ “Godfrey,” and talking all kinds of shit about Lois’s wack reporting techniques, which: word. But Clark very sweetly defends Lois, telling Cat firmly, “Lois Lane is the best crime reporter this paper ever had.” Cat’s not tryin’ to hear that. Among other awesomely irritating lines, she calls Clark “Mr. Busy Boots” (hah!) and tells him that she’s his new partner. The camera zooms in on Clark’s hilariously intense face of dismay.

CREDITS! I still love love love these new (and final! *sniff*) credits. They’re just perfect. Well, almost perfect–this week’s version is sans Chloe; I assume they’ll use the Chloe credits of last week during her other 4 episodes this season. Anyhoo, dig it:

Watchtower (holla!). Oliver’s urgently searching online for any trace of Chloe and being given the ominous message “No Records Found” repeatedly on every monitor. Tess shows up and remarks that she was surprised to receive Oliver’s call. Oliver tells her Chloe’s gone, and Tess plays ignorant. Oliver tells Tess that he’s not going to sit around, waiting to hear from his girlfriend like Clark’s doing. Tess: “Low blow. I’d say Clark’s using every ounce of strength he has not to skip over the Azores to bring Lois home.” hah! I love Tess. She tells Oliver he needs to trust Chloe, as Clark is trusting Lois. Oliver retorts that the difference is that Chloe has utterly disappeared; there is no trace, electronic or otherwise, left of her. Tess sagely notes that “The only one who could erase Chloe is Chloe.” Oliver maintains that Tess must have had something to do with Chloe’s disappearance, and hands her an e-mail (from the Digital Wave!) that he believes Tess wrote in Chloe’s name. Tess tears up as she reads the e-mail aloud, and Oliver tears up as well, listening to it. The acting from Justin Hartley and Cassidy Freeman in this scene is truly great.

Chloe’s e-mail (SOB!): “Oliver, I never thought I’d have to tell you how I feel about us, because the smile on my lips when I looked at you pretty much said it all. But now that you won’t be seeing it anymore, I’ll have to use words to tell you. I’ve never loved anyone the way I’ve loved you, and I never will again. You will always be my brightest star, my knight in shining leather, my hero.” Holy crap, that girl can write. It killed me to hear that she truly loves Oliver more than Clark or Jimmy, because I’ve always believed, since we first met Oliver in S6, that they should be together. HAPPY ENDING FOR CHLOE, DAMMIT!

Tess gently tells Oliver that they both know Chloe wrote that e-mail, but she admits that she helped Chloe erase all electronic records of herself. She tells Oliver that Chloe knew that Tess would understand her need to disappear to save Ollie, as they both love him. (Okay, she left that last part implied.) She reminds Oliver that he needs to trust Chloe, because she obviously has a plan.  (An aside: the fact that Chloe’s erased all record of herself explains how the Legion has never heard of her when they study Clark’s past in S8! HAH, I knew it wasn’t because Chloe doesn’t matter! Take THAT, haters!)

Africa. Michael Shanks’ acting is far subtler and less harshly over-the-top here than it was in “Absolute Justice“—I dig it.  I’m liking him much better now. Anyway, I love Lois but she talks A LOT, ya heard? She manhandles all of Carter’s irreplaceable artifacts, including the medallion of Isis as foreshadowing for the fifth episode this season, aptly titled, ”Isis.”  After learning that a statue she holds is the icon of sun god Ra, Lois starts babbling some more about how crazy it is that she can sit across from someone for years and never discover that he’s Ra. Carter surreptitiously texts Clark: “Lois Lane is safe. You owe me big time,” presumably because he’s being forced to listen to Lois’s incessant babbling at Clark’s instruction. A beautiful-eyed woman in a burka brings in some tea and the camera makes sure to linger on her for some time so we know she’s important. I called out “HAWKGIRL!” but–spoiler alert!–I was wrong. Lois continues to ramble, asking all sorts of questions about this vague “Ra”: does he need sleep? Does he age? What does the world look like to him? “How can he stand riding in a car when it moves so much slower than he does? That would drive me CRAZY.” Carter, fed up, mutters, “This is going to require something stronger than tea,” grabs a bottle of whiskey and answers Lois’s last question with: “Why don’t you just ask Clark?” Lois is startled that this random Indiana Jones dude knows who she’s talking about; Carter is already pouring shots to numb the pain of Lois’s super pretty stupidity.

Clark is getting into Cat Grant’s crazy pinked-out car as they head on assignment. Several blocks away, a tall drink of water is decked out like the Man With No Name, except that due to the red scope lens he wears on one eye, we know he totally does have a name: it’s Deadshot! All the scenes with Deadshot look quite surreal and comic booky, very cool. Deadshot, played here by the highly handsome Bradley Stryker, loads some ammo into a very large gun. Cat continues to prattle on like Lois on a sugar high, as Deadshot’s bullet travels through 5 blocks of obstacles, homing straight into Cat’s gas tank. They don’t call him Deadshot for nothin’! As Cat chirps at Clark, “My granddaddy always told me, seatbelts save lives!”: CAR ‘SPLODED! A fully rad slow-mo CGI (drink) scene entails as Clark whooshes Cat out of her car right as it blows up. She’s just dumb enough not to realize that he’s one of those superheroes she’s been railing against. Also, thank god those hideous seat covers have been destroyed.

Daily Planet. Cat ends a suspicious-sounding phone call as Clark holds the bullet with the letters “ARNT” engraved on it. Clark tells Cat to ‘fess up: she’s mixed up in something yucky and someone’s trying to kill her. Cat maintains that she was valedictorian and thereby unsuitable for assassination attempts. She tells him he sounds like Lois, what with the conspiracy theories, then begins complaining some more about masked vigilantes and their creepy alternative lifestyles and agendas, as Smallville makes an eerily timely commentary about conservative homophobia. Or maybe I read too much into that. She asks “Who would want to kill me?” and Clark nobly lets that one slide as he tells her he’ll take her somewhere safe in Smallville until they figure everything out.

Talon apartment! I’ve missed you! Oliver searches through Chloe’s things, hoping for a clue, and he finds one! He first gazes at a breathtaking photo of Chloe in bed, under which he finds a small brown vial that Chloe obviously left for Oliver’s discovery. A key jiggles in the lock and Oliver suits up as Green Arrow just in time for Cat’s appearance. Cat brings out a can of mace, a taser, and an airhorn and Oliver calmly dispatches of all defenses while she shrilly accuses him of general villainy due to his Green Arrow costume. Cat tells Oliver that she has proof on her phone of masked nefarious doings at an old brewery, and Oliver snatches it away and bolts.

Daily Planet. Clark rifles through personnel files in Tess’s office, intrigued to discover that Cat Grant is a fake name. Tess enters and Clark is unsurprisingly not chagrined to be caught sneaking through her stuff, which is why he and Lois are perfect for each other. He describes the bullet to Tess and she murmurs, “Cat Grant,” meaning that, like Clark, she does not realize that you don’t spell “Grant” ARNT. Gah! Tess recognizes the handiwork and digs up old Checkmate files on the deadliest shot to ever shoot stuff dead, Deadshot.

Deadshot lair of villainy. He talks on the phone to a superior, incensed that he was assigned to kill someone who is clearly unkillable. The superior is unrattled. Deadshot finishes his hand-engraving of a bullet as he wheezes, “Somewhere out there, we all have a bullet with our name on it.” This particular bullet reads “Clark Kent,” which, smooshed together after impact, could read ARNT. Not GRANT. Ah-hem.

Talon apartment. Clark confronts a bulletproof vest-wearing Cat, who explains that she changed her name to escape an abusive boyfriend, the father of her son Adam. (Cat’s protection of Adam is a story lifted from the comics, btw.) They bond over failed relationships when Clark receives a text from Tess, asking him to meet her at the Planet: “URGENT.” He instructs Cat to stay at the apartment, but after he leaves, she eyes a black wig and prepares to bolt. Because no one EVER listens to Clark.

Africa. Lois has continued drinking, because girlfriend likes her whiskey, okay? Don’t judge! She tells Carter: “It feels like somehow I was destined to be with Clark, but his destiny is so much bigger.” THAT’S the paradox, Lois! You guys ARE destined to be together, even though his destiny is also to save the universe! It makes for very compelling fiction! However, Lois hasn’t read the comic books, so she’s unconvinced. She worries that she’ll hold Clark back. But Carter’s been around the comic book block a few times: “What if you’re exactly the thing that helps him be the person you know he can be? What if you’re the only one who can make his burden easier to bear?” He admits that Clark asked him to watch out for her in Africa, because he’s worried about her. Lois is more worried that she’ll spill his secret, which is part of the reason she split. Carter tells Lois the story of himself and his wife, Shayera, although he tells it as a fictional legend. He gets wrapped up in his story and his vision of Shayera, who is played by the EXQUISITE Sahar Biniaz in this flashback, and he tries to kiss Lois as he thinks of his wife. She slaps him good, threatens to punch him in the mouth next time, and saunters out. That’s my girl.

Planet. Tess’s techies at Luthorcorp have discovered that the bullet originally said “Clark Kent” on it. Clark thanks Tess for working with him, and she tells him she doesn’t want his thanks, she wants his trust, because he needs her. Clark ignores this and thinks the assassin must not know he’s invincible. They deduce that he’ll go after Cat while trying to get to Clark, and Tess apparently lojacks all her employees because her computer informs her that Cat is at the bus station.

Bus station. Deadshot sneaks up on Cat and mocks her for the ridiculous black wig. She makes an equally ridiculous escape attempt involving some luggage-throwing, and Deadshot allows her to think she’s getting away as he sets up a remote-shooting device. Cat inadvertently moves directly into Deadshot’s target, and Clark whooshes up just as the bullet flies. The bullet hits him in the shoulder and bounces off, he catches it, whooshes up to Cat, knocks her down and catches her, sticking the bullet on her vest so she’ll believe the Kevlar saved her instead of the Kent. Ingenious! He really is getting smarter. She’s all sassy and smug for escaping death, and she makes with the eyes at Clark a bit for jumping in front of the bullet. Cat tells Clark that he’s better than any masked hero because “We need to be inspired by people who step into the light, not shrink into the shadows. We need a good old American hero in red, white and blue.” Clark ponders the wisdom of her words as the camera zooms in on the hole in his shirt where the bullet hit. 

Underneath Clark’s skin, Deadshot’s logo lights up, an invisible target.

Africa. The burka’d lady hands Carter Hall a bowl of water with which to wash his face; the same target lights up briefly under his skin, as the woman’s eyes glow with Deadshot’s symbol.

Old brewery. Oliver’s used Cat’s phone evidence to track down Rick Flag, who tries to recruit Oliver to his cause. Oliver reaches for his arrow as he muses, “You raise a good point,” and Rick shoots him in the shoulder. “On the other hand, you did just shoot me.” Oliver is now marked with Deadshot’s target, as well, although like Carter and Clark, he does not know it. Oliver gets the best of the situation and starts kicking the shit out of Flag, demanding to know Chloe’s whereabouts. Flag finally tells Oliver that Chloe wasn’t kidnapped; she traded her own safety for Oliver’s, was tortured for information and then took a cyanide pill to elude betraying her team. SOB!

Watchtower (holla!). Oliver broods on the stairs as Clark enters. Ollie tells Clark what Rick told him, but before Clark has time to react, Oliver says his lab analyzed the vial he found in the Talon apartment, and they detected traces of a cyanide antidote. Chloe faked her own death to beat Rick Flag, and then she vanished, after letting Oliver know that she survived. Clark remembers that Chloe must have seen all of this while wearing Dr. Fate’s helmet, and Oliver’s pissed that Clark didn’t stop her. Clark reminds Oliver, “For years she’s been asking us to treat her as one of us.  She begged me to trust her and the decisions she’s made.” Ollie’s torturing himself because he protects strangers on the street and didn’t protect the woman he loves, and says that Clark lost Lois the same way. Clark: “They left US, Oliver. And with our lives, who can blame them?” Echoing Cat’s sentiments from earlier, Oliver believes that if they didn’t hide their identities in shadows, things could be different. Oliver thinks they’ve lost too much and it’s time for them to make their own fate. He’s not giving up on Chloe, and neither should we!

Jail cell. Deadshot is approached by Rick Flag and…Plastique (Bette Sans Souci)! Plastique was the burka’d lady! Turns out they’re the much-anticipated Suicide Squad, and they’ve got their marks on Green Arrow, The Blur and Hawkman. DANG YO!

Africa. Carter is embarrassed about trying to kiss Lois the night before; Lois has realized in the meantime that the story he told of star-crossed lovers was actually about him. She realizes that many of Clark’s friends must be superheroes because they have very mysterious pasts. Carter tells Lois that he is being called to his destiny, to die once more to be reborn with Shayera. He tells Lois that she must embrace her own destiny as well: “He can’t do it without you. You’re his Shayera.” Instead of being moved to tears like Marla, Lois maintains that she belongs in Africa. Carter echoes the pilot in quoting Nietzsche’s Übermensch theory. Lois breathes, “Superman,” which is pretty thrilling, frankly.

Planet rooftop. Clark drops his plane ticket to Africa and stands majestically in a new SUPER BAD-ASS red leather jacket with the El shield on the front. He stares off into the distance as the American flag billows behind him like a cape. CREDITS DUH DUH DUUUUUUUH!

Next week! “Supergirl”: Kara Kent returns! She warns Clark of Darkseid and we get to meet superhero-bashing radio shock jock Godfrey, plus Lois is back in Metropolis! Check out the preview here.

Thanks to the Smallville Wiki and KryptonSite for the images and links. I’ll do another preview/link drop post on Thursday this week, and check back next TUESDAY (I’m on vacation on Monday!) for my recap of episode 10.03 “Supergirl”!